MUSIC, MONEY, SUCCESS & FAILURE - Things I Keep Learning From My Amazing Yet Weird Career
We cite their accomplishments as if they
were somehow our own and we often have a childlike parallelism, something along
the lines of “if my teacher plays in an orchestra,
then I can too.”
Whatever the catalyst, their inspiration will
be remembered in one incident or sensation. Your teachers are found everywhere,
throughout your life. Not all of them
teach us good things.
Our preliminary worldview is determined by
our teachers and for this reason alone, we need many teachers.
A truly good teacher acts with respect
towards students and remembers that we are equals. I loathe teachers who
feel themselves superior and justify their abuse as a burden of necessity. You
can learn from them but it’s always better to seek more those with higher
humanity. I’m serious about that.
Here is a rough list of the people who have
taught me things. I may have taught them
things too. I know that my students have
helped and enlightened me.
My first great teacher was my high school
band-leader and trumpeter Gary Hartley. Disciplined and compassionate, he
worked our rag-tag high school concert band like a professional ensemble. We are still friends.
At university, the great-even-then bassoonist
Christopher Millard, with all the gravitas of his 22 years on earth,
sagely told me when I was 16 years old at the University of British Columbia,
that he thought I was probably too sensitive to sustain a career in music and
that I wasn’t “ready” to start learning
the Bach cello suites. From this, I learned early to not rely entirely on the
opinions of others. Christopher also had
the generosity to perform with me when I was his student… by then, I was 17 and
he was 23 and I was about to leave for the Curtis Institute of Music. Christopher also bought me borcht at the
Russian deli after some of our lessons… when I tried to pay, he waved me away
and told me to treat my future students.
From this, I did learn generosity.
When I was 17, I had a summer with Gerald
Corey. He taught me free of charge in
return for babysitting and gave me 5 hour lessons. From him, I learned of a type of
meticulousness that was astoundingly appealing in terms of reed-making and
phrasing. Gerald Corey did not charge
me for the summer of lessons, saying that since I had flown from BC to Ottawa,
I had earned a discount. From this, I
learned about the pricelessness of professional generosity. To be fair, musicians can only afford this
type of generosity if supported by a very good job (Mr Corey was principal
bassoon of the National Arts Centre Orchestra), but it is still something that
we can aspire to at our level of possibility.
At the age of 18, I went to the Curtis
Institute in Philadelphia where I had two brilliant bassoon teachers, Bernard
Garfield and Sol Schoenbach, in their 60’s and 70’s respectively. These two tough, experienced older orchestra
guys, supposedly raised in the dark ages of gender parity, believed in me and
treated me with genuine dignity though I was just a skinny, scared Canadian
forest girl, out of my element in the middle of Philadelphia but thrilled to my core to be there.
Mr Garfield told me that the real learning
would start when I landed my first orchestral job. Not “if”, but “when”. Mr Garfield also showed me his personal
technique exercises and actively encouraged me to invent my own, which I do to
this day, actively encouraging my own students to do the same. This is just a smart thing to do and I'm sure every teacher in history has done it, but it was fun and unforgettable with Mr Garfield.
Dr Schoenbach told me that professional
orchestra was like advanced schooling and laughed when I worried aloud about
succeeding in music. He told me to concentrate on the auditions, that my career
was unavoidable. When I landed my first
job, he reminded me to form chamber groups immediately so that I could continue
to grow.
He also said “save money every year so that
you can move away from orchestra when you are ready for something more in
music” and “when is your next recital” and “don’t get too caught up with
boyfriends… first build the music and the rest will follow.”
Both of these teachers defended me when
needed (oboe teacher John deLancie sometimes felt I needed extra tempering
through adversity) and pushed me out the
door to face the world. When I started
my first job with the Montreal Symphony Orchestra, and when I felt doubt or
anguish, I would call or write and they would counter with practical suggestions…
good fingerings for that repeated “g” in Bolero, repertoire suggestions,
strong, pragmatic encouragement to stay in the glorious world of music even
when it got hard as hell. From this, I
learned that I could continue to trust some of my elders. We are still friends
and even though Sol passed on 20 years ago, I still have all his letters and a
painting by his artist wife, Bertha Schoenbach. Here is a link to one of our lessons.
Many of my teachers were not official
bassoon teachers and every colleague and stage partner has taught me… Alan Wu
(homeless pianist), Bertha Schoenbach
(artist), Ted Baskin, (oboist of Montreal Symphony), Gary Russell (cellist,
Montreal Symphony), Guy Few (trumpeter, pianist, pragmatist) Valdy
(folk hero, musically expansive), Karel Roessingh (jazz pianist), Roger
Norrington (conductor and baroque specialist), Nicholas McGegan, Fraser Jackson
(ex-husband), Mathieu Lussier (composer, bassoon, brother from another family),
John Steinmetz (bassoonist, composer, thinker).
We absorb the sensibilities and erudition
of our teachers yet whoever lights the fire that makes you want to play music,
and those who fan the flame thereafter, are the only ones who deserve to be
called teachers.
If we perform, if we interact with the greater world, then we become teachers. What kind of teacher are you?
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