It is amazing how my perception of any of my recordings changes and evolves as I continue to listen. When I first get the edits, it is a shock. I listen in trepidation, wondering if I have captured my intentions or if there are glaring errors of taste and timing or if it is fresh, vital.... I begin to map the places that have genuine flaws (i.e. require further editing) and at the same time, I begin to like the overall product more and more.
It takes repeated listening for the idea of the recording to emerge as a performance. After all, how many times in my life will I get to hear myself present 8 concerti in a row?
I had plenty of opportunities today as I made the three hour drive from the near north (outside of Parry Sound) to Toronto. I went to the airport 12 hours early to fetch Guy (returning from Saskatoon), which meant I got to return at night, giving me another stretch of car-listening time.
Of course, the real listening is done with head phones and cathedral silence, but there is something familiar and deeply comfortable about listening while tearing down the highway. So much of our work seems to be about getting to where we want to go... playing the concerts (and recordings) seems to be the reward.