nadina mackie jackson

Rescued by the House Technician for River Run Theatre at our first show in 2010

2012-02-12T10:51:00.000-05:00

Rescued by the House Technician for River Run Theatre

This is an entry that I made on my website two years ago... when Guy and I arrived at River Run Theatre last night for our recital,
Chris happened to be at the back door, waiting for the rock band that was playing in the big theatre... I jumped straight back into his arms. Thank goodness for the behind-the-scenes people like Chris Stoekle who are the ones who really make the show go on! And thanks to Susan, our ever-alert security guard, who created this superhero blazon, complete with tape on the back; "BS" stands for Bassoon Saviour! We were able to present this to Chris at intermission. More photos to come, but for now, at least one of the art work!

OK, even though I am 51 years old, I am still learning some very important lessons, and in some cases,

re-learning them.

Fifteen minutes before our opening concert for Linemar Performing Arts, I was swabbing out my wing joint, thinking calmly about the show, the music, my planned makeup adjustments, when I felt a slight tug on my swab. Ignoring the warning thought that flashed through the back of my mind, I pulled firmly on the silk swab and it jammed. Then I did what I tell all of my students NOT to do, and pulled really really hard...

The swab firmly lodged in the top section of my wing joint and visions of missing this concert began to flash alarmingly in my mind's eye.

I flew to the dressing room and called Frank Marcus, a repairman of such skill that I was sure he could reach through the phone and fix my bassoon. He said there was absolutely nothing I could do unless there was a gun repair shop nearby that might have the right tools. I said that I had to go on stage in 12 minutes. He said it was hopeless, then he said I had nothing to lose by trying to pull it out since we were in a definite musical emergency.

This is when the incredibly calm and physically powerful house technician, Chris Stoeckle, stepped in. He braced himself, carefully wrapped the chain end of the swab around his muscular hands --- meanwhile, I settled my sequined self on the floor, braced my over-the-knee black leather boots against the wall and held on for dear life. Chris pulled, then stopped to say that he could feel the silk tearing. I consulted with Frank via iPhone that was lying on the floor, and he said to keep going. Chris regrouped, I rebraced and with one firm pull, the swab leapt out, sending Chris backwards and me leaping to my feet.

I felt such a surge of relief and gratitude and there was much whooping and hugging. Guy looked at me and smiled, having calmly continued with his own warm up and preparation during those 10 minutes of bassoon panic. I did have a cut in my hand from the pointy key braces, but again, the unflappable Chris fashioned a bandage and made me laugh. Then I fixed my make-up, put the bassoon together (in that order) and played the concert. I have learned my lesson and I will never ever forget Chris Stoeckle.

Do It Again

2012-02-10T23:53:00.003-05:00

Our February 11 concert will be my tenth recital of 2012. Three different programmes, including kids' concerts and show with strings, but most of the concerts are the new "Travel Book" recital. The music has become only more interesting with the repeat experiences. Except that not one of the experiences is remotely similar aside from the repertoire... every piano is different, every hall, every audience, every city. Well, we got to do double recitals in Whitehorse and Saskatoon, but still, something is different every time (the time and the people if nothing else!). The music always has new depths to plumb and we are so lucky to have different opportunities to play and hear it.

Guy got his corno da caccia fixed. It had a big fall in the Calgary airport on the January tour (the door of the check-in kiosk popped open and knocked his cargo case on top of the corno in it's soft case). Anyway, the dents were all fixed and the valves aligned, and it is SOOOO easy to play with him now! I had no idea that it was hard before, but now the tuning is beyond effortless, as easy as thought.

Tour Day 17 - Masterclasses and Travel back to Winnipeg/Toronto

2012-02-05T01:54:00.000-05:00

January 30, 2012 - Two Masterclasses and Travel Home

Up early the next day for two masterclasses... Guy had 5 trumpeters in the concert hall and I had 9 woodwind players in a lecture room (3 flutes, 3 clarinets, one oboe and two high school bassoonists) plus several people auditing... the 2.5 hours flew by and we said good-bye to our lovely new friends and hit the road, stopping only to visit the local Starbucks before driving 2 hours in non-threatening freezing rain to the Winnipeg airport. We dropped off the car and still had an hour to spare, so we went to the very nice Stella cafe for an hour. All the flights were delayed anyway because of a big snowstorm in Toronto. Guy was bouncing off the walls... normally the calmest of travelers, he was crazy happy and cheerful, striking up conversations with people both within and far beyond speaking distance. He did not sleep a wink on the 2 hour flight, then jumped out of the truck when we got home and (almost) singlehandedly cleared our sloping driveway of all snow. He finally admitted fatigue at 2 a.m..

The best tour ever (and we’ve done loads). This is what I want to do when I grow up. A beautiful life.

Tour Summary

2012-02-05T01:31:00.002-05:00

Things I Loved About This Tour

1. Playing solo concerts every other night

2. Hanging out with Guy Few for 2 solid weeks

3. Playing on television (well, it is the same as playing a concert, but we know we’ll get to hear it again)

4. Canada, Ice and Snow!

5. Meeting young musicians and colleagues and new friends

6. White stretch limo in Regina

7. Hotel Saskatchewan in Regina

8. Spaetzle in Regina

9. Making reeds in Allan Few’s spot at the table

10. Bassoonists ranging in age from 12 to 82

11. Foxes in the parking lot in Whitehorse

12. Jack rabbit in Brandon parking lot

13. Seeing my Dad’s studio and picnic table in Pender Island... seeing my Mom’s former home again...

14. Having countless fantastic meals including breakfast a Hummingbird Hollow

15. Playing with different pianos

16. Staying with Helen and Allan Few

17. Lorne Watson Hall in Brandon (beautiful to look and magically sonorous)

18. Bailey Theatre in Trail (old and somehow grand)

Here are the things that GF loved about this tour....

1. people

2. children

3. animals

4. visiting friends

5. children’s show and the gift of the photographs from Bruce Barrett

6. George Zukerman making the long journey to see us

7. hummingbird in Pender Island

8. all the stuff we ate

9. the fawn touched GF’s hand with his nose

10. that NMJ’s skirt finally fell off at the last concert

11. advance birthday present from NMJ - spirit bear pendant from Yukon

12. photos in front of statues in Vancouver

Things I Wish I Had Done Differently

1. I wish I could have thanked my manager at every concert (it isn’t cool to do that, but I wanted to)

2. I wish I had thanked the Canada Council at the Saskatoon/Amati concert (Thank You Canada Council for making this tour possible we love you)

3. I wish I had not faltered over some of the names of the concert societies

4. I wish I hadn’t interrupted the TV interviewer in Saskatoon (still talking too fast even tho I’m on decaf)

5. I wish I had made more blanks (reeds) before I left instead of during tour

6. I wish I had sharpened my !@#$# reed knives tho thank goodness for my magical Jende knife

7. I wish I had made notes about the numbers of seats in the venues... now have to search internet/call

8. I wish I had gotten the names of EVERYONE who helped us (CD sellers, security guards, stage managers, technical crews, volunteers, students) so that I could really say THANK YOU to them

Tour - Day 16 & 17 - Drive to Brandon from Saskatoon - Final Concert of Tour - Skirt falls off in Boismortier

2012-02-05T01:18:00.001-05:00

January 29, 2012 - Drive to Brandon from Saskatoon - Final Concert of Tour - Skirt falls off in Boismortier

I got up at 6 a.m. to shower and finalize my packing. Allan Few and I were driving to the Saskatoon airport to return the rental car and get back in time for breakfast. Guy got up at 7 to help Helen make and present breakfast. Our guests arrived on the stroke of 8:30.

The executive director of Prairie Debut and a real powerhouse of generosity and forethought, Lynne Bailey insisted on driving us to Brandon (a 6 hour journey) because she wanted to save us the strain of steady driving through drifting snow before the concert. She shared the driving with her husband and we made a couple of gas stops. We checked into our motel/hotel... definitely sobering after 4 days in a loving family home! Lynne stood by until she was sure that we were check in to our rooms, then left to do some business until dinner time. I had half an hour to make a reed... not quite enough time but I started even though I knew I couldn’t finish. Guy was more sensible and flung himself on the bed with the clicker in his finely groomed hand. Then we met Lynne for dinner, and then gathered our gear and went to the hall... I lay down for 15 minutes because the ground was moving under my feet.

The Lorne Watson Hall was tiny but also very resonant and flattering. We were met by the ebullient dean and concert pianist, Michael Kim who showed us everything and introduced us to the student stage manager, Melissa.

This was the first concert of the tour where we spoke without microphones. There were many faculty members in the audience (Cathy Wood, clarinet Joel Brennan, trumpet, Alexandre Tselyakov, piano) and loads of students. I asked the usual questions of the audience: how many trumpeters (at least 14) and how many bassoonists (1!!) We launched into our program, and during the second movement of the Sonata No 1 in e minor (Opus 50) by Boismortier, I felt an unaccustomed coolness on my rear end... my skirt had been hanging loosely since the beginning of the tour and in the early days, Guy had insisted on pinning it to the corset. He was sure it was going to fall off and I said it wouldn’t, but tonight, on the last concert of the tour, it decided to prove him right! I reassured the audience that I was wearing pants so it wouldn’t have been the end of innocence had the skirt abandoned me completely. But it didn’t. At the end of the second movement, Guy jumped up and smoothly zipped me back together, crowing all the while about the accuracy of his prediction. The audience laughed a lot.

As in all of our concerts, we went out at intermission and talked with many students and their parents. There were two young fellows there with their Dad... Davis (who plays trumpet and piano and something else) and Keiran, who was the lovely 12 year old bassoonist who ended up playing in my masterclass the next day. I was interviewed by a young woman for the school newspaper and we talked to as many people as we could before playing the second half. Afterwards, Michael drove us back to our hotel with a pile of sandwiches and we crashed into bed.

Tour Day 15 - Two Concerts with Amati Quartet - Filmed for Sasktel 48

2012-02-05T01:16:00.003-05:00

January 28, 2012 - Two Concerts with Amati Quartet - Filmed for Sasktel Max

Up early for a fantastic breakfast then getting ready for the first Amati concert.

We arrived early and had time to set up on stage while the sound and camera guys were checking their positions. Sheila was setting up the speaking mikes and soundboard and she loaned me her Swiss Army knife to shorten my reed. We had time to get dressed... I always need GF to tighten my corset. After the first two shows of the tour, he has learned to ask me if I can breathe since at the shows in Regina and Brooks, he had to loosen my stays on stage.

The shows always pass in a blur for me... the stories ignite and the music takes on new shapes... some things were better in the evening... a thrill to play two shows in the same day. It was our first time out with two new arrangements of Flight of the Bumblebee (trumpet & bassoon) and Oblivion (corno & bassoon)... we also did the Shostakovitch Dances in their original arrangement (trumpet & bassoon with strings) which was weird for Guy since he is more used to playing trumpet and piano at the same time.The cameras rehearsed during the afternoon then rolled in the evening. Both concerts were full of enthusiastic people, including many young people...great to see young people, maybe because they remind me of my son, or my own early pure-hearted self. One of the high school students is a bari sax player named Daniel (he signs his name "Big D" which is lovely) and he has converted to the bassoon after the concert! His band teacher is torn between delight and panic but I am flat out thrilled. And I love to see older people... I am always so grateful that people give us their time. Marla and Geoff (first violin and viola) brought their children (Miles and Carmen) to help with handing out programs. Miles showed Guy a new game for his iPhone (Cut the Rope) and the dressing room was filled with Guy’s play-by-play sounds as he valiantly tried to master the game int he 10 minutes before showtime.

We had two trumpeters volunteer to sell CDs for us... Adam came to the first show and Mitch arrived in a splendid suit for the evening event. Here is Adam and Guy... I wish I had a photo of Mitch!

Home late after the last show, we put on our pyjamas and ate leftovers on beautiful china in the cozy kitchen... Helen and Guy planned the large breakfast that was being presented tomorrow morning to Lynne and Doug Bailey who were going to drive us to Brandon. We were in bed by 2 a.m.

Tour - Day 14 - Masterclasses at University of Saskatchewan and second rehearsal with Amati Quartet

2012-02-05T01:14:00.000-05:00

January 27, 2012 - Masterclasses and Rehealsal

We were up for morning masterclasses at the University of Saskatchewan. We were met at the school by Dean McNeill, a well-known trumpeter and prof at the University. He welcomed us and got us set up in our separate rooms.

Guy had several brass players and I had a group of bassoonists, including Kayla Nicole McKenzie who played the first movement of the Hurlstone sonata. She had a lovely sound and was very brave about trying any idea that I suggested. The bassoon section of the Saskatoon Symphony was present, Stephanie Unverricht and Marie Sellar (also Kayla’s teacher) along with two other students (Ian and Zack). I also was honoured that Marla Cole sat in on my class and the saxophone teacher, Troy Linsley. After Kayla played, we then played two quartets (with 5 bassoonists) that Stephanie had arranged, and then we took pictures. It felt like a big group... Like dog years, I always feel that one bassoonist is the equivalent of seven more common instrumentalists.

We then went to lunch with Marla at Il Secondo and then visited GF’s favourite eyeglass store (Optika) which is the home of a beautiful boxer dog named Furnace.

Then it was time for dinner and the evening rehearsal with Amati. When we got home, Guy finished off the macaroni and cheese that had been made for supper and I messed with reeds again.

Tour - Day 14 - CTV interview - first rehearsal with Amati Quartet

2012-02-05T01:00:00.001-05:00

January 26, 2012 Interview on CTV, Saskatoon - visit to Mendel Gallery with Margaret Cugnet - Rehearsal with Amati Quartet at Convocation Hall, University of Saskatchewan

Up early for another beautiful meal, this time breakfast - carefully made oatmeal, fruit, cheeses, delicate tiny cheese biscuits, muffins and “breakfast biscotti” along with orange juice and capuccino.

Then we headed downtown for our noon interview on Saskatoon CTV. We were met by the leader of the Amati Quartet, Marla Cole. I was glad to meet her after our many email exchanges and she briefed us on concertAlso on the interview were actors from Persephone Theatre’s new production, 39 Steps (James and Jeff?) along with their publicist, Cat. They were a bit bleary-eyed since the opening preview had been the previous night and they were up until the wee hours. But the good news was that the run had already been extended.

We were greeted by CTV’s host, Jeff Rogstad who took us on set. We plopped into leather chairs and waited for him to finish news and weather. I really hoped that my new Yeti boots would make it into the television picture... I plotted how to strategically raise my leg at the right moment ... Jeff sat down to interview us, starting with one of our YouTube clips that Larry Kryski had made for us in the fall of our performance of the Shostakovich Fast Dance at University of Waterloo. The questions came and went very quickly --- what kind of music, why is my hair blue and then it was over and we popped out into the bright prairie day.

We drove through the riverside streets, the sun striking the beautiful bridges. Margaret Cugnet was waiting for us at the Mendel Gallery for lunch --- she runs the Yorkton Concert Association and she had made the journey to hear us in Regina at the start of the tour. She was also planning to hear our concert with the Amati Quartet. Margaret was genuinely interested in hearing about our tour and had also brought along programmes from the start of Guy’s career.

It has been very fortifying to meet people who are so supportive. Marla had to leave early as she had a student waiting but we planned to meet for lunch the next day. After lunch we toured the gallery and got to see the artist installing the next show Kai Chan: a spider’s logic.

First rehearsals with Amati Quartet--- amazing to see the instruments up close and in particular the painting on the back of viola.

Guy’s bashed-up corno was still playing well... my reeds continued to make the adjustments from the previous days in the mountains. We read through all of our works, just taking the time to go through everything --- the new arrangements of Flight of the Bumble Bee (trumpet & bassoon), Oblivion (corno & bassoon) then reading through the Bacchanale, Lachner Concertino, Bassango (I forgot my music but managed to remember it), Trumpet in the Night and the two Shostakovich dances. After we finished the reading, the quartet continued rehearsing their Piazzola piece (Tango Ballet), the lovely Schnittke Polka, Arvo Pärt’s Summa and a very cool Shostakovich. Guy and I went home and found cookies waiting for us on the table, along with the big spread that was in the newspaper about our concert and a sweet note from Guy’s mother... the best tour stop ever.

Tour - Day 10, 11 & 12 - Vancouver - Castlegar - Trail, B. C. - Calgary - Saskatoon

2012-01-26T03:33:00.006-05:00

January 22, 2012 - travel from Whitehorse to Vancouver - dinner at Aphrodite Organic Cafe

So much of touring is about planning, traveling and eating and sometimes sleeping... the music-making, masterclasses and time with wonderful people are the rewards!

We flew into Vancouver from beautiful Whitehorse and jumped into our rental car, a surprisingly zippy Volvo S40. It was a struggle to load the trumpet cargo case, our suitcases, the CD suitcase, the corno, the bassoon and bags, but we found a way to puzzle it all into place.

Warm-feeling rain of the coast replaced the crystal-crisp air of the Yukon and we stripped off our parkas.

I told Guy that we were driving straight to the pie shop on Fourth Ave in Kitsilano that was closed when we drove by it on our 2009 tour. We found it easily and discovered that it has evolved into a granola-style gourmet restaurant. GF had the chicken breast with all kinds of organic seasonal vegetables and I had the best lamb-stew-with-rosemary-dumplings of my life. There were vegetables that I had never tried before, including watermelon turnip and baby parsnips and alien baby cauliflowers along with things I knew such as red cabbage and zucchini... it was beautiful to look at. We had lovely salad with beets and carrots and roasted sunflower seeds and lentil soup with carmelized leeks and chocolate banana cream pie and many cappucinos. We also texted and emailed non-stop, recovering from our media-fast during the two day trip to Whitehorse (no Rogers reception).

Then we headed into the night to find our hotel and managed to find it without resorting to maps, gps or argument. The Sylvia Hotel is one of downtown Vancouver’s oldest heritage buildings and it is beautifully sited on the edge of English Bay. The vintage rooms and photos always make me happy. There was a lovely old lady beagle checking into the hotel at the same time we were, along with a group of kids on a ski trip... it is always an interesting mix of people in the old-timey lobby.

Our room was right next to the elevators, but as we were both achingly tired from the previous day’s concerts, we slept soundly despite the rumblings. I wanted to make reeds but it just didn't happen.

January 23, 2012 - breakfast with Michael Jarvis & Carolyn Jack, travel to Castlegar/Trail

Morning was warm and misty - we sprinted out to buy supplies before a wonderful breakfast meeting with harpsichordist Michael Jarvis and Carolyn Jack (communications manager for the Vancouver Art Gallery). We went to the Bulgarian cafe Acacia where I abandoned all restraint and had the ground beef, cabbage, absolutely savoury-delicious banitza (fillo). We had a quick visit and I was inspired by hearing about Michael’s restoration projects of nineteenth century pianos... I hope we can do a recital some time with my two 19th century bassoons! We said good-bye and loaded for the airport, returning the car and heading for the little prop plane that was taking us to Castlegar.

The flight was easy over astonishingly beautiful mountains feathered with deep show... I took lots of incomprehensible photos out of the scratched window despite the fact that we were sitting right under the right-hand prop support/wing. Amazing to me that I can see the individual propellers in the photo but only a blur in real life....

Guy pulled his hat down and slept hard for the time that we were in the air.

We rented a Ford Flex and by now, are used to all of the electronic conveniences, able to navigate the controls more quickly each time we jump into a new vehicle. We found our hotel easily and went downtown to the first Chinese restaurant that beckoned (Double Happiness) and ate far too much delicious breaded meat dishes with thick shiny sauces. Back to the hotel ---- our room was directly next to the exercise room, so I promptly got on the eliptical machine for one hour, hoping to counteract the Canadian-style Chinese food. Then scratched on a reed and went to bed. Guy was already asleep --- he was still exhausted from his flat-out performance of the children’s show in Whitehorse plus our evening concert

Our management has timed our travel days very well so that we recover from the concerts and have time to get to our next venue. Good stories always come from difficult tours so we will just have to find our material elsewhere!

January 24, 2012 - Concert in Trail, B. C. at the Bailey Theatre

The next morning, we were up early and had a really expensive breakfast in our Sandman hotel then I headed into town to explore and leave Guy to the exercise machines. We had a sound check at 1:00 in the really nice old Charles Bailey Theatre and met the meticulous piano tuner, Terry Helleran --- he told us more about the theatre, that it had fallen into ruin several years ago and that a large chunk of plaster fell of the ceiling during a Jon Kimura Parker recital (landing beside the sweet little Steinway).

Terry let us use the piano for a quick sound check, then returned to continue his careful work. Guy’s left hand was still aching from his floor-pounding antics in Buzz and Crow.

I was not happy with my reeds but there was still time to make one before the show.

We packed up and went to visit the local artists’ collective Artisan then had lunch at the Caffe Americano before going back to the hotel. There was time for me to trim a new reed for the evening concert and for Guy to have a nap... he has fine-tuned his ability to sleep under any conditions, including the scraping and testing of bassoon reeds; valuable skill in a roommate!

At 6:00, we were packing up, about to leave for the hall, when we got a call from the stage manager, Nadine. She was worried because she had not heard if we had arrived and the airport was closed in Castlegar. She was relieved to hear that we were on our way for the microphone check. When we arrived at the hall, we were met by the lovely Nadine and the sound guys, Norman and Martin. Nobody really knew who we were as there had not been any communication with the people we had been talking to earlier in the day for the rehearsals, but everything got sorted out and ran very smoothly. We learned that Nadine Tremblay is a musical theatre director/performer/writer and we would love to see one of her shows someday! We also chatted a lot with our very cheery security guard and I am sorry to not know her name.

The show was very warmly received and we had a chance to talk with people in the lobby of the Charles Bailey Theatre during intermission. The weather was very snowy and we were amazed at how many people braved the elements to come to our concert. Many people came to tell me that they had no idea that the bassoon could do so many things and people had many questions for Guy.

January 25, 2012 - travel to Saskatoon
The next morning, we drove back to Castlegar and I had homemade borscht and bread in the very homey airport cafe, Pie in the Sky and Guy made friends with a fancy little jet-setting dachshund named Smudge. Our tiny airplane (Dash 800) had a really rough entry into Calgary. Guy did not sleep during this part of the flight; he opened his sparkling green eyes and grinned. He loves bouncy plane rides and was mildly amused by the people throwing up and squealing... I did not throw up but I was a bit clenchy.

We switched planes in Calgary and flew peacefully into Saskatoon, which had a beautiful rosy sunset glow. I have not been here before and loved seeing the broad bridges and the huge university grounds as Guy drove towards his parents home.

We had a fantastic dinner made by Helen and Allan Few... a feast for the eyes and a joy to the palette.

I made two blanks in the kitchen, surrounded by pastry and comforts of home. Tomorrow, we have an interview with CTV, lunch with friends and rehearsals with the Amati Quartet. We will have to go to the gym at some point!!!

Tour - Day 6, 7, 8 & 9! - Concert in Pender Island - Travel to Whitehorse - Children’s Show (Buzz and Crow) and Concert in Whitehorse - Travel to Vancouver

2012-01-23T01:00:00.001-05:00

Jan 19, 2012 - Concert on Pender Island and visit from George Zukerman

Excited to be back on the beautiful island that was home to my parents for 17 years, I awakened early on Jan 19 and immediately began making a reed for the evening concert. The snowstorms of the previous two days had made it impossible for the piano tuner to come and the last time the fine upright Yamaha at the school had been tuned was in October, so I wanted to be prepared in case it was quite flat (pianos never go sharp unless we are in the height of summer).

We had an amazingly savory and wonderful breakfast from Chuck and Doreen of Hummingbird Hollow - zucchini pancakes, a rich, cheddar and vegetable baked mini-omelette, fresh fruit, fresh muffins, homemade jam... incredible. The resident herd of deer came to the front door and were looking in the window... Guy was particularly delighted when a calm little fawn touched his tiny warm nose to Guy’s hand. There no natural predators for the deer on Pender Island, and the kind islanders feed them in winter, so they are quite trusting.

Then I kept working on the reed, making a wider, larger reed by free-hand shaping and profiling. I managed to produce a reed that would play 10 cents flat from low B flat to treble clef F and thus felt prepared for anything. Well, anything that involved a baroque-sounding reed playing modern music!

This gave us time to meet our lovely presenter, Jill Justice, for lunch. We decided to go to Pender Sushi at the Driftwood Centre, but on the way, Jill pulled her car over to the side of the road. I drew beside her in our massive SUV (a pimped out, purple-lit white Ford Navigator). Jill called up to me, “Wouldn’t you like to see your mother’s old house?” At first, I said no, thinking that it all might be a bit sad, and also thinking that I was really ready for lunch. But Jill gently pressed and I agreed. I led the way, finding the place fairly easily through the winding island roads. And I was very glad... the main house has been rebuilt in a grand west coast style, and happily, the timber-framed studio that my father built many years ago was still in place. I left feeling as if I had seen a dear old friend.

We went on to an excellent lunch at Pender Sushi with Guy giving Jill a lesson in chopstick handling. Then we loaded up again into our massive truck and made a quick visit to the Community Centre to see the log picnic table with an integrated roof that my Dad had built... it too was in beautiful condition, preserved and useful, so again I felt that we still had a connection to this place.

Then we drove the the school for our 4:00 rehearsal... they were in the process of setting up the chairs in the gymnasium and moving the piano on stage. We met many of the people who make this series happen, including Colin (a clarinetist) who was setting up the stage lights and Denny (a violinist with 25 students on the island) who was our stage manager and Larry, the treasurer! Others were there from the committee, another example of the large numbers of volunteers needed to make concert societies live!

We rehearsed, and the piano sounded very nice... true, it was somewhat flat and a bit uneven, but manageable and the basic voice was very rich. Guy opened the lid and took off the front panel to give some more sound... we argued a bit about where to place it since the challenge is to not have Guy’s back to the audience but still have enough of the instrument facing the room. We then piled into the truck and scooted back to the bed and breakfast... in the dark, I chose one wrong turn in the curving network of country street options but my ancestral memory guided me back to the right path. Guy and I have steadfastly declined GPS units in our travels and thus far have managed to blunder to the right places.

Guy changed into his concert clothes and headed out into the snow in his fine patent leather shoes. We went back to the hall and got the CD table set up... I have been very disorganized on this tour! Usually I have an inventory sheet prepared for each venue with an exact list of titles and numbers. But on this tour, I have opted to bring many more of my recordings since we are playing so many pieces from the recordings. In the scramble to leave Toronto, I managed to create a list of titles and have asked each venue to keep a simple running total of everything that we sell... it has worked so far and people have been incredibly tolerant of my system!

The audience was very warm and responsive... the music and stories pass in a blur for me but I am always grateful for the energy that comes surging back. We always open with Flight of the Bumble bee and that gives me time to know how well I will hear the piano in the hall full of people. Then we play the pieces with piccolo trumpet and bassoon, and then the Paganini with corno da caccia and bassoon. This was the first time that Guy had played the corno since the accident in the Calgary airport (the automatic check-in kiosk popped open it’s front panel, causing Guy’s cargo case full of trumpets to pitch forward onto the soft-cased corno... a big ding in the curve of the body)... Guy was able to hold the tone and pitch despite an increased tendency for the corno to want to warble! I played my regular concert reed and worked hard to keep the pitch low enough for the A=438 piano... I succeeded generally though had to give up on some of the sustained, soft low notes. We close the first half with the Schreck sonata and it was a particularly lush feeling performance.

At intermission, I was standing behind the curtain when Guy went out to pick up the piccolo trumpet, so I couldn’t see why he suddenly let out a loud, happy cry. When I peeked around the curtain, I saw George Zukerman standing at the edge of the stage! I was very happy to see him, and so impressed that everyone had kept his visit as a secret so that we would be surprised!

We had a quick talk and then visited with the audience before playing the second half. Guy and I have learned that intermission is the best time to meet people and that we have to go directly from the stage if there is to be enough time to interact. This means I am playing a two hour concert without swabbing the bassoon, but it has not been in problem in the very dry cold climates where we are playing (Regina, Calgary, Brooks, Whitehorse, Saskatoon, Trail, Brandon, even Pender Island was dry).

Jan 20, 2012 - Travel to Whitehorse - no cell phone or FaceBook for 2 days!!

We were up at dawn the next morning to pick up George at 6:10 a.m. on the way to the ferry... our hearts lifted at the site of the brightly-lit neon sign in the ferry coffee shop but on closer inspection, a notice in the window said it was closed until mid-February.

We had breakfast on the ferry, eating the packed muffins that Doreen had given us the night before and then we all went to sleep until docking in Tsawassen. I plan to come back on another trip dedicated to asking George many questions about his rich life.

Guy and I went to downtown Vancouver and had lunch in the Vancouver Hotel before returning our pimp-mobile. We got it back to the rental agency before 2 and saved a day’s rental. We then had seven hours before our flight to Whitehorse.

We found a spot where we could plug in our computers and phones, all within striking distance of coffee shops, chocolate shops, gift shops and the time passed very quickly for me... we worked on our kid’s show that we were scheduled to perform the next day and reviewed our cues.

Guy fell asleep the minute we got on the plane and we landed 2 and a half hours later, the white mountains around Whitehorse glistening in the bluey moonlight. We dragged our suitcases through the dry squeaking snow and crystal glittered air, two long-legged foxes were in the parking lot... one sleeping on a snow bank and the other trotting between the cars. Our little rental car (Ford Fusion) was plugged in and ready to go. For some reason, we couldn’t find the trunk-popping button. Or rather, we did find it but were so bleary that we thought it was some mysterious battery-exploding button and were afraid to push it until the rental guy came out and pushed it for us (sigh).

We crunched through the sparkling cold night (-32) and easily found our hotel. As usual, we declined a GPS and our Rogers phones do not work in the Yukon (no FaceBook for two days) but the route couldn’t have been easier. We checked into our big, rambling, old-north clapboard-style hotel and trudged around, searching for a spot to plug in the car. We finally wedged in next to an immense, shining Dodge Ram pick up truck and another car to nose up to the electrical outlet trough. Then we crashed into our beds in the absolutely warmest rooms of the tour.

Jan 21, 2012 - 2 Concerts in beautiful Yukon Arts Centre

We went down to have breakfast in the hotel restaurant. A man dressed in insulated lineman overalls and coat did a double take when he saw me, swayed lightly and said, “Holy ****! That’s some great hair!’ and I said “Thank you!”

We had enormous delicious breakfasts supplemented by the emergency instant Starbuck’s decaf that Guy is traveling with. Then we headed up to the Yukon Arts Centre to walk through our show before the 1:00 performance.

We were met at the Performer’s Entrance by Denette Readman, the presenter for Whitehorse Concerts. She showed us all of the rooms (change rooms, green room) and the lovely stage, introduced us to the stage manager (Marie-Joelle) and the technicians (Matt and Ryan) then took my key and re-parked our rental car at a plug-in station.

The main hall at the Yukon Arts Centre has a very nice 9 foot Steinway and this was being set up at the back of the stage to allow the chairs for the children’s show to be all set on stage with us.

We talked through our moves and cues, then got dressed for the show. Guy created his persona (Buzz) of a dishevelled, bright-eyed, innocent child with clothes that look like they were pulled out an attic trunk: baggy taupe riding jodpuhrs, mismatched socks, unlaced black boots, a red-star trimmed Russian military cap with askew ear flaps and a ragged-edged cadmium red silk jacket... very adorable. My character is the magician (Crow), mysterious, regal, connected to the animal world and to the wisdom of elders: I wore my black sequined pants under my latest blue superhero skirt with a long train of blue feathers and a gathered bustle of various textures of net, silk, studs, silk, a black net shirt with fingerless glove-sleeves and a silver sequined vest over top. Pointy black boots and a black feathered neck piece finish the invention. We had a large, attentive audience of children, mostly aged 2 - 4 but a few older ones along with a very supportive group of parents.

Our children’ s show is hugely based on Guy’s character (Buzz) --- the eternal child who is so open to discovery, so quick to flights of joy and occasional dips into sorrow, responsive to all learning - Crow is the magician who awakens the genius in the child, leading him to accomplish more than he could alone yet also showing him that it is only his efforts that lead to the magical results.

Before the show, Marie-Joelle and Danette took care of everything (water on stage, setting everything the way we want) and at the last moment, I asked Marie-Joelle if she could film the show, so now we finally have a video of it. And photographer, Bruce Barrett took over 100 beautiful photos which he gave to us on a disc at the evening concert in exchange for a CD.

The Buzz and Crow story shows many basic concepts and is based on the sounds that are made by the reed (a crow) and the sound made by the mouthpiece of the trumpets (a buzz) --- in the course of our silent story, children learn about breathing, how we communicate through breathing and movement, a little bit about how the trumpets and piano work. They discover the music along with Buzz as he puts things together, they see his emotions as he lives through the different kinds of music... mostly he is elated by everything but he dissolves into sobs at the end of Oblivion and has to be coaxed back to happiness. We leave time for many questions at the end and allow the kids to come close to the instruments, sometimes to play them though Guy is very careful about avoiding sharing germs with small children!

After the show, Ryan and Marie-Joelle reset the stage for the evening concert and we had time to rehearse for half an hour, just to get used to the large Steinway and the acoustic of the hall. The sound is very good though slightly dry (hall) and the piano was very good.

We then jumped in our car and headed downtown. Guy took me to a store that represents native artists and we found beautiful presents. Though there are fine restaurants in Whitehorse, we did not have time to sit down to a long meal, so ducked into Tokyo Sushi for a quick dinner, then in to a neighbouring shoe store that had the most astonishing selection of warm fashion boots... everything from seal skin to black designer mukluks to the black tuscan goat with leather fringed yeti boots that I bought.

Back to the hotel for a quick nap and collecting Guy’s concert wear. I slept for 15 minutes then we drove back to the arts centre for the “meet-the-audience” session. About 20 concert-goers came to listen to Denette Readman interview us on subjects ranging from our beginnings in music, how we find repertoire, what kind of music do we listen to, why do we like new music, continued interest in classical music. Then questions were taken from the audience, and they centred around our instruments (makers and history). The questions went on a bit longer than planned because we always enjoy talking about our story and I had to scramble to get into my dress for the show. I had a couple minutes to spare and quickly sanded my reed before going on stage.

Then a fire alarm sounded and the concert had to be delayed until the fire department came and confirmed that there was no fire. The hall was full and the audience very responsive. Our management has arranged for us to have individual speaking microphones for all concerts and this has been a huge help.

We went out at intermission and had the chance to speak with many children and grown-ups. This is the time that we get wonderful questions and responses from people... one woman expressed her appreciation of how we play Bach (not austere or technical) and there were many questions about the bassoon. I can show people the keys, the reeds and the C# brace that cut my hand (from one of our stories). There was even a former bassoonist in the hall, a beautiful young Scotswoman from Edinburgh and we learned that we had a connection through her teacher and my dear, departed friend, Christopher Robson.

After the concert, Whitehorse Concerts held a reception and we had the chance to speak more with musicians and artists from the area...I so wish that I had a better memory for names! I should be making notes but at this event, two women asked for a closer look at my bassoon so I reassembled it and let them inspect it... it is always hard to juggle a bassoon and a notebook! But so incredibly good that people are interested enough to ask.

Guy and I were very tired when we arrived in the hotel rooms after midnight, but we still wanted to look at all of the photos and the video! I fell asleep on the bed with all the lights blazing, waking up in the wee hours to crawl under the covers. We were up early to pack and have breakfast with Debbie and Vern Peters at the Burnt Toast cafe before heading to the airport again. Our flight was easy with only a bit of roughness in 50 km winds at the Vancouver airport. We now know our way around Vancouver, so we bailed into the car and went straight to a restaurant that I wanted to visit last time... Aphrodite’s Organic Cafe and Pie Restaurant. We wanted to try the pie, but as of last Friday, it has become a full-fledged restaurant offering 3-course organic meals. I had a lamb stew with rosemary dumplings that was one of the best meals of my life.

This has been a very good tour... cold temperatures and heavy luggage, but the fantastic experience of playing a two-hour recital every other day with travel days in between to promote recovery! We are meeting so many people who have never heard the bassoon before and who love Guy from many other performances. I feel astoundingly lucky.

Tour - Day 4 & 5 - Brooks, Alberta & travel to Pender Island, B. C.

2012-01-19T00:17:00.000-05:00

We awakened in Calgary and went to work out before an excellent breakfast in the restaurant attached to our vast Sandman. Then we googled for cappucino and discovered the Kawa espresso bar where we had real, dense, delicious capuccinos and a one-of-a-kind apple/chocolate chip scone. This was a beautiful coffee bar ... I was initially doubtful because it was so big, but Guy said it was just because it is in the spacious west rather than in the real-estate-challenged territory of Toronto.

We loaded the truck, chatting with some hotel execs who had sneaked into the parking garage for a smoke rather than braving the outside -28 weather. We hit the road by noon, with the usual squabble over directions. I loaded the first edit of my Vivaldi concerti into the CD player and Guy listened for awhile before falling asleep during the 2 hour drive through the frosted golden prairie to Brooks, Alberta. I took pictures with my iPhone, trying to capture the delicate palette of golds, lavenders. Haven’t looked yet, might just have pictures of the hood of the car.

We easily found our hotel at the side of the main road into town. We got take-out so that we would be sure to have something to eat between the sound check and the concert at 7:30. I worked on a blank and Guy caught up on emails before we headed over to Griffin Park Theatre. We were met by a very nice technician named Derek who let us in the back door, then we were greeted by Janet who brought a plate of sandwiches, a kettle, fruit, whipped cream, tea bags and drinks... real prairie hospitality! It is so comforting to have food backstage, especially the way that they did it in Brooks, tiny sandwiches, fruit cut up into bite sized pieces, cups for the tea. Somebody thought through the details and it adds up to a genuine sense of welcome.

Marilyn Jackson came to greet us and then she realized that the programmes hadn’t been printed! It was 4:30 and the concert was at 7:30, so I said that she shouldn’t worry about it, but she insisted. So I got on the phone to our manager and he forwarded the materials again, and Marilyn got excellent programmes printed in time for the show!

Guy and I rehearsed in the theatre... the acoustic is warm, no echo but not overly dry. At one point, a large man came on stage and without saying anything to us, shouted up to Derek who was in the sound booth, “I’m really busy and can’t come tonight!” He then glanced at us and was about to leave, so I introduced myself and asked him some questions... he was the local band teacher and plays both trumpet and piano. He said he might come to our next concert if we ever return to Brooks. I smiled and said that would be nice. I asked him if he had any bassoonists in his band, and he said that there is one who is interested, so I asked him to encourage the young player to contact me.

We rehearsed with the light-voiced Kimball piano… the lectern of this compact piano was quite small and the biggest challenge was to keep the many pages of our recital book from flying away during his rapid page turns.

After the rehearsal, we went back to the hotel to eat dinner and get our gear. Guy wore his patent leather stage shoes out into the -30 crunchy snow and did not fall down once. I changed into my blue feather gown at the hall but had to wrap myself up in a huge wool shawl while backstage to conserve body heat. The audience filled up the hall and Shanda came backstage to introduce herself before going onstage to introduce us. She introduced me as Nadia and apologized sincerely after the concert. I didn't mind…I assume people will know my name once they hear the show!

The audience was larger than I expected given the freezing temperatures in this small prairie town... maybe 200 people and all of them wearing coats, hats, gloves. They stayed until the end and bought lots of CDs. There were many children who stayed for the whole concert and several people came to tell me that they knew George Zukerman. One of Guy's childhood neighbours was at the concert… Kim Taylor said that she bought tickets for this show last July when the season was announced and she say that we would be performing in Brooks.

We open the tour concerts with Flight of the Bumblebee and this one was almost faster than I could play. We punctuate the music with stories and always worry that we are rambling too much. The first half has a duo with piccolo trumpet and bassoon by Boismortier, one of the e minor, opus 50 sonatas by the same composer, a Bach aria, 4 Paganini duos for corno and bassoon and the Schreck sonata for piano and bassoon. We visited with the audience during intermission and talked mostly to a family with three children, ages 8, 10 and 11. The second half opens with another Bach (Air on a G string) along with the Prelude and Scherzo by Jean-Jean, short pieces by Shostakovich and Piazzolla and Glenn Buhr, ending with our beloved St-Saens Sonata. Some people in the audience stayed to tell us their impressions and buy CDs... a really welcoming, kind group of people. Derek (our technician for the evening) waited patiently for us to pack up and load out.

We went back to the hotel to pack, then put on long johns and jackets and socks to go to bed... it really was cold last night and the heat really did not have much effect in our room!

We got up early to work out in the tiny cardio room... I had my first experience on a stair climber. Then I made a blank and we packed our suitcases and wrangled everything back into the little blue Ford Edge. We were surrounded by massive pickup trucks packed with compressors and other heavy duty equipment that we assumed was for the many oil drilling sites dotted around the countryside.

The car started with just a small whine of protest and we returned to Calgary. The sun was hitting the gold of the fallow fields everywhere as we drove along. Everything went smoothly despite the great cold.

We returned the car and went to check in for our flight to Vancouver. The stupid automatic kiosks never work for us but this time, the front panel of Guy’s machine flew open, and somehow caused the trumpet shipping case to topple over on top of the corno in it’s soft case. I thought it would be flattened, but there is a large ding in the curve towards the bell and a newly flattened area. He still hasn’t tried to play it since our travel day is not yet over and fingers are crossed that it will not be whacked out of tune.

We flew to Vancouver where they are in an unusual cold spell. The airport is filled with native carvings and seems very grand. We rented a Ford Navigator to drive to Pender Island where they say the snowfall is deeper than the mainland. We arrived 3 hours early at the ferry terminal and ate Chinese food and had organic espresso and booked our return ferry. The crossing will take 2 hours since we have to go to Nanaimo then Pender Island. It is a long day of travel but not difficult….I am hoping that there will be somewhere soundproof to practise tonight, or maybe we will just fall head first into bed.

Tour - Day 3 - Masterclass in Calgary, Alberta

2012-01-17T02:54:00.000-05:00

Today was easy though cold! Guy’s wonderful parents took us to breakfast in the gracious dining room of the Hotel Saskatchewan, then waited as we rumbled all of our suitcases and instrument cases back down to the lobby. The presenters had arranged for a stretch limo for us that made us feel like startled nobility. We sat back and enjoyed the ride as the driver took care of all our suitcases and made us wish that we could take him on the whole tour.

Our flight to Calgary was on an even smaller plane but we have been lucky in finding places to stow our instruments and heavy coats. We waited a long time for our rental car... the solicitous clerk offered us a king cab pick up truck to make up for the delay but we opted to wait. To reward us for waiting an hour, they upgraded us to a computer-assisted, smooth-running SUV and we navigated our way to downtown Calgary. A very cold day (-28 C) and our 21st floor hotel room was unheated with ice was building up on our windows as we left to teach a masterclass at Mount Royal University Conservatory.

The class was a lively mix of academy students . The young performers included a flute and percussion duo (Fiona Ferguson and Eric Fry) and two horn players (Justin Malchow and Megan Van Horne). We played a mini concert for them at the beginning and end of the class and fielded some welcome questions from the audience (how and why did we develop our duo, how do we create programming for children’s concerts, how did we develop our rapid articulation skills).

I was very happy to have a wonderful former student in the audience, Liz Morrison. And to complete our activities, Tom Holst of St John’s Music (sponsor of the masterclass) brought over a collection of trumpets (regular and rotary) and french horns for the students and pros to try.

Afterwards, we went to a wonderful dinner at the Indian restaurant called Green Chile with the organizer of the masterclass, Laurie Matiation (hornist with the Calgary Symphony and coördinator of the brass programme at Mount Royal University) and two engaging trumpeters (Ian and Nathalie).

When we returned to the hotel, they had moved us to a heated room and we have flopped into bed. Tomorrow we drive to Brooks.

NB for the bassoon players... I will talk about the reed-life in the very cold, dry conditions!

Tour - Day 2 - Concert in Regina

2012-01-16T09:39:00.001-05:00

Up at dawn yesterday to work out in the spacious, ornate, Victorian fitness room of Hotel Saskatchewan, then met with Guy and his parents for Sunday brunch in the old-worldy dining room. Back to the room to make a reed... climate much drier here!! We had a sound check and Guy had his first experience playing on the Chinese-built Hailun 7' grand, meticulously tuned by Dennis Weist who also represents this instrument in Canada. CTV came in to film some of our rehearsal and interview us for the 5:30 news.
Back to the hotel to collect gowns and makeup, then back to the hall to strap into first dress of the evening.
First concert of the tour went very well and our stories had a new audience who didn't mind that we ended after 10 pm! Signed lots of CDs, met many musicians, including 3 bassoonists (Alan Denike and students)!!! Went to the pub with friends and drank cranberry juice and laughed a lot.
Gotta get on a plane now to Calgary.

Tour - Day 1 - Toronto to Regina

2012-01-15T02:27:00.001-05:00

Sitting in Toronto Pearson Airport with some time to spare as we wait to fly to the Regina, the first stop of our Tour-To-Cold-Places. I made Guy come to the airport 3 hours early because I had heard that there was going to be a work slowdown amongst the security personnel. But instead, we simply found a parking spot by the elevators, no lineups to check our baggage, and the security line non-existent. So we celebrated with Guy’s trademark start-of-tour burger and fries followed by airport capuccinos... lots of time to chat with the inevitable parade of bright-eyed children who stop to stare at my hair and Guy’s hat.A tiny aircraft awaited us, and luckily the plane was not full so we found places to stow computers, coats and instruments. When we arrived in Regina, we were met at the airport and whisked away to dinner with our very kind hosts who are also the founders and presenters of the Cecilian Concert Series. Dennis Weist sponsors the series and looks after the Hailun grand piano that Guy will be playing tomorrow night and Lore Ruschiensky is the tireless director of the series. This fascinating pair are major world travelers and think nothing of going around the world to hear different concerts... they recently heard a chamber music concert at the Neurosciences Centre in San Diego and a symphony concert at the Walt Disney Hall. Other key members of the concert series were also at the dinner, including Corinne Groff who drove us from the airport and to our hotel, along with Joyce, Gary and Lily Ann... it was an incredibly warm and welcoming way to start the tour!

draft

The Eighty Dollar Champion

2012-01-03T23:49:00.001-05:00

I am reading a lovely book about a horse (Eighty Dollar Champion by Elizabeth Letts)
In this wonderful true story from the 1950's, I find so many points that resonate with the life of musician.
The protagonists (Snowman and his owner, Harry de Leyer) faced incredible hardships beyond anything that I have known, yet their dedication to a craft and art that wasn't immediately justifiable and actually out of their social class is really beautiful.

And as I am about to head out to Stockton, California for an intense weekend at the Meg Quigley Vivaldi Competition, the story of Snowman and his remarkable rise to stardom while happily retaining his humble family role gives a really charming perspective on the nature and value of competition.

Read it!

If I Could Do It All Again (or Not on the Test)

2012-01-01T23:27:00.000-05:00

When I finally discovered the bassoon at the albeit late age of 16, went to the Curtis Institute at 18 and landed my first big gigs at the age of 22 (associate principal in Mexico but I took second bassoon in Montreal), maybe you could say that I was a highly trained classical musician. I had a huge supply of excitement about the world of music that lay before me but absolutely no understanding of the riches that were possible. Despite my rapid progress, I was steeped in doubt and held back from many opportunities.

I was hugely attracted to orchestral playing, but also mesmerized by the three concerti that were being taught at the time (Mozart, Weber and, well, Weber A & R). My head just about blew off when I realized there were many many many more and that it was possible to learn lots of them! Likewise I was immersed in chamber music, loving quintets but also wishing to play chamber music with piano and strings and I established mixed chamber groups the minute I got my first job. And baroque music. And electronic music. So much I wanted to try. But somehow, always, it was repeated over and over that you had to choose one niche and stick to it if you wanted to make a living, so each foray carried a certain amount of guilt (i.e. who did I think I was!?).

Since then, I have managed to have many professional experiences... concerti, recitals, orchestras, chamber music, electronic, baroque....

None of this was on any test in school. And all of it has a world of possibility within it.

Yet sometimes I find myself still thinking as if any of could be on a test... am I playing softly enough, will someone object to my fast tempi (or slow ones), or my trill choices ir my sound or my reed... why do I think this way when what the world needs is more active artistic events and fewer simple tests of strength and compliance?

Great performance choices are not going to be part of any test. Great performance choices involve long periods of experimentation (also known as mistakes) --- tests require a limited set of parameters and are useful ways to test your strength. But once these baby steps towards personal discipline have been established, then then next step is to find ways to extend your reach, to imagine a greater performance and the training that is required to arrive. To imagine ways that the voice of the bassoon (or whatever you do) can be used to create an artistic event.

To be good at something, we gradually identify the parameters, refine our grasp of the problems, repeat the our successes, gradually eliminate the number of errors. To be great, we expand the parameters, extend our reach, exponentially increase the number of errors, until we discover something, then we refine and start anew. It never ends and each day is more fun than the last as long as we remember to live as if each day were our last.

If I could do it all again, I would lunge in the directions that beckoned when I was young. I would not hesitate for a second to find collaborators who wanted to present recitals with me and develop shows that reached out to people. If one pianist at school said no, I would ask another one instead of retreating (as I did at a youngster at Curtis). Everything that I do now, I wanted to do when I was young. I would wear what I thought was exciting instead of hoping not to offend. This impulse towards showmanship didn't have a place in classical bassoon training and my teachers (all great bassoonists) were not doing anything like it. They would do one concerto per year, maximum or one recital per year. They lived for their orchestral jobs. There is a big beautiful world out there for musicians and our youth is a blessed time when we are given the time to learn everything that we need. I wish I had realized that!

I wish young players all courage to not only learn their scales (so important) and develop their orchestral excerpts (essential) and do well in exams and competitions (absolutely necessary) but also to imagine the possibilities, imagine what stages they want to command, what shows they want to develop and how best to bring their bright, individual personalities to every event. Iron discipline and fluid imagination... this is what I crave.

Playing is Working (for me)

2011-12-30T01:06:00.003-05:00

Everyday, I roll out of bed, eager to see what happens. I am enough of a nerd to particularly like unscheduled days that allow time for both reed-making and scales. Yes, I worry constantly about maintaining my expensive addiction to solo art music, but I find encouragement in many places. I recently rediscovered the website of the composer-writer-bassoonist, John Steinmetz. I find him genuinely funny and insightful, and I enjoyed re-reading his articles. And here is his “generic resumé” which has always made me smile.

And speaking of thinking about careers, I was pondering the question of “career highlights” today (it is a subject that comes up when composing resumés). My career has been really long and varied at this point and yet I am always looking to the horizon, thinking of how to get more experiences. And though I live for being on stage, the moments that I remember are the moments leading up to the concerts... e.g. the night before my first tour with Guy Few in October, 2009. It had taken us all day to fly from Toronto to Kelowna because there was a highway-closing accident in TO on the day we were driving to the airport, so we missed our plane and all other connections. I had a nasty cold and we were flying in the back of the economy section, sitting in the middle seats at the back. When we finally made it to our destination, all the restaurants were closed except a neon-flashing Chinese-Canadian buffet. My nose was raw and my ears were blocked though I could hear the sad country music playing on the static-ridden speakers. And at that moment, I was overcome with happiness at the prospect of two weeks of touring in beautiful B.C.... the concerts were fantastic and the whole trip unforgettable, but it was that night before it started when I felt the reality, the sure knowledge that our duo's first recital tour was about to begin.

The new year starts with month of touring. First, I will go to the Meg Quigley Competition and Symposium in Stockton, California to judge, teach and perform. I am flying there with one of my top students and we are arriving a day early to go on the cane harvesting expedition and for me to rehearse with the pianist, then it will be three packed days of judging the semi and final rounds of the competition (10 wonderful young bassoonists are performing! and a similar number of fabulous professionals). I will lead a masterclass on January 7 and play in the concert that night. I am looking forward to meeting old and new friends and having that incredibly rare experience of hearing many bassoon soloists. Then we zip back to Toronto, and Guy and I leave on a Western Canadian tour that will take in some really cold places! Here is a list of some of the solo and duo works that I will play this month... playing is the best work I can imagine!

Jean-Daniel Braun - Solos (#6, 7, 13 & 21)

Mathieu Lussier - Bassango (with piano & also with strings)
Mathieu Lussier - Bacchanale
Ignaz Lachner - Concertino

Marcel Bitsch - Concertino

Paul Jean-Jean - Prelude and Scherzo

St-Saens - Sonate

J-B de Boismortier - Suite in G from Op 37; Sonata in E minor Op 50 #1

Rimsky-Korsakov - Flight of the Bumble Bee (with piano and with strings)

Piazzolla - Oblivion (with piano and with strings)

Shostakovitch - Waltz and Fast Dance

Schreck - Sonata in E Flat Op 9

Calm Before the Storm

2011-12-29T00:10:00.001-05:00

I have two clear days off and my first instinct is to play ALL of my scales in ALL intervals as a tonic... this takes a lot of time and is psychotic, but I am getting fairly far with it! And it feels so good, as if I have all the time in the world to explore different sounds and approaches. There are so many things to try!

But very soon, the wheel of life takes over again and I hit the floor running. So often, our tour schedules look like vacation itineraries (after all, we do play for a living) with airplanes, rental cars, hotels in different cities, new people to meet, new espresso shops to discover. But everything has to be ready, from passports to concert gowns.

I get the final piece for my 2012 touring frock... a feather shrug that goes with my current, royal blue bassoon superhero outfit (I previewed this gown at the CD release party on Oct 30)... I have new faux high cowboy boots from Fluvog... we have our new arrangements of Flight of the Bumble Bee and Oblivion... I have to pick up my visa from my manager and do a thousand things (including checking in with all of my orphaned students) before getting on the first airplane on January 4.

Listening to Vivaldi concerti edits during long drives

2011-12-28T02:16:00.000-05:00

It is amazing how my perception of any of my recordings changes and evolves as I continue to listen. When I first get the edits, it is a shock. I listen in trepidation, wondering if I have captured my intentions or if there are glaring errors of taste and timing or if it is fresh, vital.... I begin to map the places that have genuine flaws (i.e. require further editing) and at the same time, I begin to like the overall product more and more.

It takes repeated listening for the idea of the recording to emerge as a performance. After all, how many times in my life will I get to hear myself present 8 concerti in a row?

I had plenty of opportunities today as I made the three hour drive from the near north (outside of Parry Sound) to Toronto. I went to the airport 12 hours early to fetch Guy (returning from Saskatoon), which meant I got to return at night, giving me another stretch of car-listening time.

Of course, the real listening is done with head phones and cathedral silence, but there is something familiar and deeply comfortable about listening while tearing down the highway. So much of our work seems to be about getting to where we want to go... playing the concerts (and recordings) seems to be the reward.

Sideroads and Scales

2011-12-26T22:23:00.001-05:00

Today was really the last day of holiday with my old parents. A peaceful day of re-heating leftovers and practising slow scales.

And I also decided to unpack some of the archival boxes to get both of my parents thinking about their accomplishments and histories. I have started a rudimentary website to collect the stories and hoping that my gifted mother will write the full story of her life. She has lived in the shadow my log-building superstar father and I continually remind her that her story is valuable and important. I piled manuscripts, radio scripts, photos, magazine articles dating back almost 60 years... and my mother began to remember her vital contributions. Now I just have to figure out how to run the Google-supplied website thingy.

Dad is surrounded by his work, but even he needs to be reminded of all that he has accomplished (here is a recent article from the local Parry Sound magazine, Sideroads) Today, he reviewed the 7-part video series that he created in the 1990's as a sequel to his books and teachings. He realized anew that this material is interesting to people, and his gifted caregiver is going to study the videos and start building in the spring (Linda is a long haul trucker, machinist, carpenter, seamstress and many more things).

As I push forward in my life, it is very important to revisit the past. It is important to me to see my parents remembering the value of their own work.

And it is important for me to play scales! As silly as it may sound, it is my foundation and security. Playing slow scales(+ scales in 6th and 3rds) has helped me get rid of some niggling tendonitis that developed from some enthusiastic weight-training. It is better to actively fix something rather than passively wait for it to go away, but aches and pains aside, it is always always good to review basics. Scales are always the best way to measure distances and build strength.

Cooking for Real

2011-12-25T23:10:00.002-05:00

Today, at the home of my parents in the quiet, slightly snowy north, I made my first completely successful festive meal for other people, my first unalloyed triumph.

It included an apple-cider roasted turkey with leeks and apple, red risotto with shitake & pancetta, haricots verts with caramelized shallots, a lovely dish of thinly sliced sweet potatoes roasted in alternating layers with wine-soaked chopped dates, gravy made with apple cider and herbs and a purée of the roasted apples and leeks that were cooked with the turkey. Hours later, we had mixed berries and whipped cream tinged with almond extract for desert. Each dish was complex yet light, deeply flavoured but not heavy. And miraculously, it was ready at 4:00, the hour that my old mother always wants to have Christmas dinner.

You see, I have always had anxiety about cooking for groups combined with a real desire to share food with others. I have decided to change that anxiety into an adventure. And maybe I am totally obsessed, but it reminds me so much of the work I do as a bassoonist.

I think the reason that today’s meal was so successful was the aid of my mother’s caregiver, the astonishingly gifted Linda Harriman. Her real-life skills are wide-ranging and easily encompass the preparation of dinner, yet she decided to act as my assistant. Every tool that I put down, she collected and washed, returning to it’s spot. If I ran into a time crunch, she peeled, chopped or fetched. Though she was not constantly at my side, she still did 6 hours of cleaning. If she hadn’t done that, I would have fallen behind or had to serve dinner amidst a clutter of dirty dishes. So, while I am pleased and proud that my dinner was successful, I also know that it would have been far less so without the help of Linda.

And while the dinner was excellent, I also needed my parents and Linda to be with me to savour it... if I had made it as a solitary exercise, would it have tasted as vividly?

And it all reminds me of the work it takes to be a soloist or any other kind of performer.

The study, decisions and hours of preparation are solitary activities, but the performance requires the presence of other people to combust all of the elements into a finished product that can be judged and enjoyed and repeated. And for the solo performer to arrive successfully to the stage, huge amounts of support must be given to make it possible... there are so many things that need to done in addition to the practise-practise-practise mantra of the hopeful virtuoso. The performance is an essential step and there need to be many repeat performances before the skills become refined into instinct. The performances can be humble events for friends and family along with or leading to main stage, sequin-gowned extravaganzas. Each is important, each adds nacreous layers to the glow of the performer.

Carpe Diem (and Merry Christmas)

2011-12-25T07:49:00.000-05:00

The best thing about this time of the year is the momentary lift in routine activities giving the possibility to reflect, which is the first step towards renewal. Christmas Day itself seems to expand before me as something much longer and more full of potential than any other day.

Both of my elderly parents are very ill yet somehow doing well at the same time. Their lives are so different from what they were even one or two years ago. It is sobering to see that the decline of the their physical strength is now at odds with their desire for life. I see that there is no real preparation in our lives for this loss of power and that, despite the help of their caregiver and the work of doctors, there is very little support to transition from being a highly productive, creative person to one that is battling illness in many ways. Yet I also see that the opportunities to recapture ambition can return once an adjustment is made to circumstance.

Striving and triumph can exist in the smallest of acts, things that will never be recognized yet are superhuman, such as my formerly powerhouse, mountain-climbing, solo-sailing, house-building father now calculating how best to build momentum that will allow him to leave his chair without pitching forward on his head! I am realizing also that the striving of the deepest self towards expression and recognition never leaves and should be honoured to avoid a descent into bitterness. My shy, blog-writing, activist mother is so encouraged when she is recognized by political thinkers, legal activists and others in professions far removed from her own.

I have collected archives of the accomplishments of my mother whose huge behind-the-scenes work resulted in publishing the chronicles of their early lives together in the Family Herald (Montreal Gazette) and eventually in her own book store and their own publishing company. Together, they build many homes and created the B. Allan Mackie School of Log Building with knowledge and skills that spread around the world, spinning off into the lives of countless people. The sight of the materials seems to stir both a flicker of pride and old sorrows. There appear to be immediate road blocks to collaboration yet maybe the flare ups of rancour and ire are signs of life! I have hope that their abilities will collaborate yet again to tell their individual stories and their joint history with all the candour necessary to make it useful and fascinating.

Above all, outcomes seem to reside in the spirit of the individual. I can witness in myself and in my parents the undeniable fact that our successes comes from resolve and persistence while failure seems to come from fear and avoidance. And that success/failure are inextricably intertwined... so often the best information can come from pursuing a fear to it’s hiding place. Resolution and determination are dangerous commodities if we act from fear. Yet fear in proper proportions is a catalyst to success. And I also wonder if bitterness and regret can undergo an alchemical reaction if we apply our other powers of organization (deciding on goals), collaboration (asking for help) and resolve (committing to a project with no guarantee of rewards).

I celebrate everything this year....the fact that my parents are still alive and that it is Christmas and I am roasting my first turkey and I will keep playing my bassoon because it is the place where I meet my fears and my ambition. I want to hone my understanding and skills even as I rest from the hustle of daily life. And I will keep reminding my parents of the complexity of their lives that has led to inspiration and productivity for thousands of other people.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Cooking and Practising on Christmas Eve

2011-12-25T00:23:00.000-05:00

Cooking and Practising

For some reason, I am cooking a lot now. Of course, I have always cooked, but for the first time, I am seriously flipping through sumptuously illustrated books, choosing recipes, trying them and feeding the results to other people who seem to appreciate the process. Fascinating.

Practising is a similar process. It too requires time, materials and the eventual participation of others to make it worthwhile.

Both activities require planning, preparation, compromise and outcomes that are improved by how much energy and steadfast interest I can bring to them.

To stay in good playing shape, to be ready to play the repertoire that I have programmed for the first weeks of the new year and beyond, I have to practise a few hours each day. I am celebrating the holidays in the company of my parents, and their amazing caregiver, all of whom appreciate both my cooking efforts (today was roast prime rib, glazed carrots, brussel sprouts with bacon and apples, beet/orange/walnut salad, mashed potatoes, mashed cauliflower with leeks) and my practising (Bitsch Concertino, Braun Solos, Lussier Bassango, St-Saens Sonate, Jean-Jean Prelude & Scherzo, Boismortier Op 50 #2, our new arrangement of Flight of the Bumblebee and this is half of the music that I will be performing in January). Though I planned to shower and change into a nice outfit for dinner, I ended up wearing my workout clothes, decorated with bacon sizzlings.

My life rarely fits normal timetables... in order to perform well, I have to spend time playing and that is often late at night or instead of fun social events. I have felt guilty about this for years. To play really well, time also needs to be spent every day on studying music and making reeds. Plus the physical conditioning necessary to play very well, i.e. exercise. It would be possible to fill 12 hours per day with the work needed to prepare to be at my performance peak yet this remains an unlikely prospect.

Just like cooking, I get better and better at understanding the parts that make the whole, how to pull it together quickly and make something that will be interesting to others. It is an endless puzzle but such an appealing one. There are no failures in this approach, only lessons.

First Edits of Vivaldi Concerti

2011-12-20T14:14:00.002-05:00

Today, as I drive around in my truck buying the ingredients for the feasts I am preparing for my elderly parents in the their northern house, I am listening to the first edits of the Vivaldi Concerti that I recorded last summer.

Exciting and painful! The concerti are so hard. The players are so great. The first edit fills me with the conflicting desires to have a nap or to practise with renewed enthusiasm.

Maybe I'll just stare into the middle distance.

(photos by Larry Kryski - taken at the end of two days of recording in the Glenn Gould Studio of CBC Toronto)

Pain and Joy - the artist’s choices

2011-12-20T14:11:00.001-05:00

Pain and Joy - the artist’s choices

The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them... a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death.

Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create -- so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off...

They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency they are not really alive unless they are creating.

Pearl Buck

US novelist in China (1892 - 1973)

Today I am visiting my videographer, Larry Kryski and reviewing concert videos from recent performances, and the one that is thrilling me is the Vivaldi Christmas Concert that we did on December 11, 2011.

We bassoonists are so lucky to have these concerti and I am so lucky to be in a city that has students willing to take on the extra challenge of adding a not-for-credit huge event to their schedules. And my dear stage partner, Guy Few, who has been part of this event from the beginning... supplying the orchestra part in the first season and this year playing the double concerto for oboe and bassoon with me.

I watch the videos and am so impressed with the grace and power of the students, some of them already showing their professional potential.

And I look at the videos of myself, see that I am still completely committed to the goal of becoming the best bassoonist I can be, eager to play the music, completely engaged with trying to conquer the different dragons in every concerto... I am never happier than when doing all of this in public, on stage with other eager musicians. It is just the way I am.

Yet, as a performing musician has committed to a career filled with doubt and worry.... will I forget the notes? will my reed raunch out? will a key fall off? will enough concerts come in to pay the bills? examples of the usual endless anxieties of musicians... but I would never trade this for another career.

I wonder how much to tell my students about the choices that will be forced upon them... how to leave a crying baby in order to get to an orchestra rehearsal, or unable to look after elderly parents because you are on a tour that has taken two years to set up. And the idea of weekends, vacations or even a day off is almost absurd in our world. Because if you aren’t performing, then you need to be preparing to perform, i.e. practising, studying, researching, going to concerts, listening to music, imagining the next steps for yourself and your students.

Yet my own question is answered over and over when they keep stepping up to the stage to try something that is more difficult than they ever imagined. They want to learn by doing. And they want to be reassured that it will work out ok. The only reassurance lies in the fact that I am still alive and kicking. Or more accurately, sitting in my videographer's basement studio, looking at the quote from Pearl S. Buck that is sitting on one of his desks.

Students are the Lifeline

2011-12-04T22:55:00.003-05:00

First, I have to say that getting a full night of sleep (i.e. going to bed before 2 a.m.) has felt amazing but has seriously cut into my writing time! Good habits are causing a kind of existential jet lag... this commitment to keeping myself strong does interfere with my ambitions.

There have been lots of things I wanted to talk about! And one is the experience of witnessing young bassoonists and other young musicians at the thresholds of their professional careers. To see the passion and dedication is humbling and almost shocking. I realize that you can see a person’s future in the way they live their present.

And I am reminded over and over that teaching is an essential part of being an expressive artist.

And so often, I wish that I could pull any doubt from their young souls and let them know that they will achieve their goals, and therefore should imagine the best possible goals.

And I want to tell them that, through their work, their thoughts, their reactions and questions and playing, they remind me of everything that is important when I watch their journeys.

For example, I got the opportunity to take of the Orchestral Literature Class for the bassoon studio at the Glenn Gould Studio (of the Royal Conservatory of Music, Toronto). Though my career is focused on solo repertoire at the moment, orchestral music remains the foundation of my training and my career. The chance to revisit this music and to remember the self-training and to witness the steps that the five young bassoonists of the GGS are taking to refine their skills to become deft and powerful orchestral players makes me far happier than I ever expected. And when my ex-husband cheerfully returned our mutual library of orchestral parts (obsessively indexed by yours truly), I felt happier than if my favourite childhood doll had suddenly found his head again (poor Mr Monkey).

And for the last two weeks, I have been working with two teams of young artists at both the Glenn Gould School and the University of Toronto as we prepare for our sixth annual Vivaldi Christmas concert (our first in Toronto). My idea is that a Vivaldi concerto combines everything that we learn as classical artists... every technique of agility and expressivity is called into play along with collaboration with the noble strings (always so developmental for us!). And side by side with the artistic endeavor is the reality of what it takes to make a concert happen --- preparing parts, checking parts, arranging rehearsals, finding a venue, getting everyone’s updated bios, producing programs, scheduling every aspect of the event, oh, and making reeds, learning/memorizing the concerti along with everything else that life demands. We have to fly by the seat of our pants and the more skills we gather along the way, well, the better the toboggan ride becomes!

My students are brave and I respect their courage so much. The older students at university have the courage to try something new while juggling crazy schedules. The youngest students trust me and are aiming their sights higher than I have ever seen before. I know they will all be far greater players than I ever could be.

Here is a note by a very young student (Nicolas Richard) who met me in September. His account of the experience was published in the Atlantic Presenters' Newsletter. The intensity and vividness of his impressions makes me realize that every word we say and every note we play will register on a sensitive soul. This alone is the reason to develop confidence and kindness and knowledge. OK, I have to sleep now. My students say it is good for me.

Taking Care

2011-11-14T22:50:00.002-05:00

OK, my students tell me that I should get 8 hours sleep and drink 1-3 litres of water per day and eat properly. I am going to try it for ONE DAY and report back. Have to go to bed now.

Musical Growth

2011-11-13T01:33:00.000-05:00

I constantly search for ways to grow musically... well, I hardly need to search since the

areas of interest are endless and there is a constant need to develop skills.

Though I long to get to work, other work is endless and the need to make money is a constant worry.

Yet sometimes I get to forget all of this... the moment I step onto stage I get to launch into the best world imaginable.

And tomorrow, I have an equal pleasure awaiting me... I get to hear a wonderful student of mine, Bianca Chambul, perform the Mozart Concerto with the Toronto Symphony Youth Orchestra, conducted by Alain Trudel. I listened to her dress rehearsal last week and marveled at the new cadenzas and inventions that have come from her young mind. Just 17 years old and she is playing in a way that lifts my heart and spirit beyond all material care.

This is an aspect of musical growth that I did not know about when I started my career 30 years ago... the deep joy of watching a true talent unfold in front of me.

Trust

2011-11-12T00:26:00.001-05:00

Trust

My dream life is full of concerts, recitals, concerti, masterclasses, teaching, recording, traveling.

My real life has all of these things in various quatities.

Yet I am always busy because there is always something that can be done to support this vision. And by doing

One of the best features of my life is daily contact with students who trust me enough to ask questions that I cannot answer yet I continue to try. And I am so comforted by their questions because I recognize their searching and doubts. And I feel paradoxically motivated to keep trying when it sometimes seems possible that all of my ambitions might not be fulfilled.

Today began with struggling to upload the videos from my iPhone that I took on Wednesday night of Bianca’s dress rehearsal of the Mozart Concerto with the Toronto Symphony Youth Orchestra conducted by Alain Trudel. She has written her own cadenzas and is improvising little ausgangs... really a joy to hear. I promised to get the videos to her so she could listen before the concert on Sunday and it taking me forever to figure out, but I am slowly getting it done.

Then on the top floor of the Conservatory to start another day of teaching. I have one student who is keenly interested in new music, is also shaking his head at how hard it is to practise and still stay on top of all the course work, wondering how it will all help him be a better performer and musician. I say that I don’t know except that the questions will trigger an artistic response at some point. And I said that scale work can be done in brief spots of time and that challenging patterns will, over time, weave an understanding of tone and distances, how it all adds up more effectively than if we wait until there is a clear block of time. He also told me that he is recording the sounds on the subway everyday during his 14’ ride to school with the idea of creating a piece eventually... he said that the alarming realization struck him recently that the subway cars are oddly bereft of human conversation... hundreds of people sitting in close proximity, whisked to and from work/school/etc and never speaking. Neil said that the sound of two teenaged girls talking broke the silence one day.

The hour was up, and in trooped five Conservatory bassoonists for our first Orchestral Lit class (I have just taken over the class from Michael Sweeney). My ideas include having each student lead the class, presenting two standard excerpts and speaking in depth about his process for understanding and practising the elements, followed by a rendition of each excerpt. I am asking each student to mark his (they are all men) presentation. We are in the process creating a ‘chart of virtues’ (see previous post) which will define our goals and ambitions for these excerpts. Adam Romey gave an animated account of his process and research for Tchaik IV and Marriage of Figaro. Then I spoke about my point of view of each excerpt, then each player presented a version, then the two hours were gone!

I sat with the students while I ate lunch then I walked over to one of the satellite buildings for the University of Toronto. I bumped into my next student on the way and we talked non stop about how to keep working in the face of doubt and dismay over one’s own performance. Again, I had few answers but felt such a wave of recognition and comfort, as if this expression of doubt on the part of my student were an absolutely necessary initiation into the world of classical music. We continued the discussion as

we worked on the top floor of the old, reclaimed residence that is being used for practise and teaching rooms now that the student body is outgrowing the Edward Johnson Building.

Then we walked back to the Conservatory, got a key, and went into the depths of the basement where the Reed Room is, next to the offices of the janitorial staff. We crammed into the little room, full of bassoons and bassoonists, to clip the tip of Jeff’s reed and talk a bit about the nature of very wide reeds (another discussion!). Then another Neil came for a reed lesson and I showed him refinements in my hand profiling methods. Reed making ideally requires a constant mentor, yet I trust always that moments of insight combined with the searching nature of each player will lead to a complete skill over time. It is a quiet skill too, involving so much looking and crafting before there is any hope of a sound! The quiet, still room with no windows almost put me to sleep, but Neil kept asking questions and revived me!

Then I drove to pick up my son from choir practise, gathering groceries and talking at length with my student Adam, who had recently come to many insights about trust, including the profound one that the performer must trust himself before the leap can be made to new knowledge or collaboration.

What we do every day matters. We can trust that we will succeed if we apply that trust to our own ambitions and efforts. And the trust of my students is one of the unbelievably valuable gifts of my existence.

Chart of Virtues and Enjoying Failure

2011-11-11T00:32:00.002-05:00

Chart of Virtues and Enjoying Failure

Reading a lovely book by Gretchen Rubin (Collins) called The Happiness Project. Despite having an outwardly pleasant, picture-perfect existence, she felt life was whooshing by without being sure she was living to the fullest. She spent a year studying happiness and the result is fascinating. I don’t agree with all of it yet as I continue to read, I can see that she is not seeking an untroubled life, but rather, a conscious one.

She created a chart of virtues under the premise that doing a small thing every day is better than doing a big thing once in awhile. She took a long time to define her virtues and then it became a chart that reminded her of these things every day.

I believe in this too. As I strive to build a solo career that will both challenge and sustain me, there are sometimes long periods between concerts. I find this very hard since the real life of the music lies in making it ring out in a room full of people! This is when I remember that every effort can still be directed towards supporting that reality... 15 minutes spent on a tricky corner of a concerto can be essential preparation for a concert that is happening a year from now...organizing string parts for Vivaldi concerti can save hours of panic when it comes time to present these works in different places... having a suitcase that is in good shape and an up-to-date passport makes it that much easier to get on a plane when the opportunity arises. And stopping all of these things so that I can get to bed before dawn also supports the goal of being on stage in full strength... this is very hard for me to remember!

Enjoying failure... now there’s a lovely thought! Every time we step onto stage or in the public forum in anyway, we run the risk of making mistakes and failing. It is simply the price of worthwhile life. Mistakes reveal passion, and as Ms Rubin says, it is part of being creative and ambitious. The trick is to forgive ourselves and keep trying, never to retreat into silence.

Little Braun CD Launch

2011-11-01T16:28:00.003-04:00

Little Braun Blog

The 24 Solos (1740) by Jean-Daniel Braun is officially launched! Two days ago!

On October 30, 2011. It is now available for purchase on my website --- just in time for Christmas!

This particular project is what got me started on the blog in the first place and it is funny that I was too busy during the days leading up to the launch to even consider writing.

The preparation for any self-presented concert requires three things in addition to reeds, music, practise:

Complete attention to detail (even if you miss something, you will better remember it next time!)
Genius, thinking-for-themselves assistants
Support

On the day of the launch, two of my top students also had important stuff going on... Winner of the 2010 TSYO Concerto Competition, Bianca was at the University of Toronto, in her first playing-from-memory-rehearsal of the Mozart Concerto with the Toronto Symphony Youth Orchestra. Later she reported that it went very well once she got past the initial flutter of nerves. I simply could not attend because one of my senior students at the Glenn Gould School was having his recital at the same time. Adam played with a level of refinement that was inspiring, reminding me of my early experiences in Philadelphia and hearing the seamless, warm, flexible sounds of the bassoonists raised under the wing of the Philadelphia orchestra. When that was over, one of my recital partners (Dr Cecilia Lee) and another of my senior students (best-admin-assistant-ever-Neil Bishop) helped me bring in food, flowers and CDs from my distantly-parked car. Neil worked to clean up the reception area and set up all the CDs and price lists, then Guy Few arrived and set up the food table: my little idea was to have lunch foods and a pile of brown paper lunch bags that had “Little Braun Bag” written on each of them. Then a graduate student (Susan) arrived to help put up signs around the slightly bewildering complex that is the Glenn Gould School of Music. Then my oldest friend in the world, Leslie, arrived and volunteered to help sell CDs. The videographer arrived and then it was time to get dressed... my newest gown by Jessica Biffi still requires the expert bodice-lacing technique of my stage partner Guy Few, so luckily he was on this programme! I did want to test my reeds one last time since the programme ranged from the unaccompanied Braun Solos to Marcel Bitsch to Mignone, but by this time, the audience had started to flow in. I had expected a small crowd, but people kept coming... my managers arrived (Andrew Kwan and Erin Sparks), then old friends, then students, composers, parents of students, then miracle of miracles, people I didn’t even know!! My manager, familiar with the building, began slinging chairs, aided by Neil. The concert began and I dived in, first with the solos, then with the Concertini by Bitsch, Lachner and Mignone... my first time out with the glorious, fiery pianist Young-Ah Bang. I had a great time playing yet was a touch nervous; it wasn't until I listened to the videos later that I realized I sounded better than I imagined(feared).

Anyway, the energy was incredible, the support and thoughtfulness of my friends was incredible, the excitement of the visiting students was so touching. I am feeling very lucky today. All musicians need support and once we have it, the music can really start to flow. I will write more this week and post the video clips.

Hold Fast to the Hands of Grace

2011-10-14T18:22:00.003-04:00

Hold fast to the hands of grace

Have the courage to take your place

These words are a tiny excerpt from a gorgeous new blues CD called Passin-A-Time by singer/guitarist/songwriter, Kat Danser.

Guy and I met her at Contact East at the end of September when she showcased in the spot directly following us at the Mack Theatre. We were blown away by her soundcheck, then her one-woman showcase was even more dynamic. She gave us her CD, refused payment, and I haven’t stopped listening to it since. She is joined by other musicians yet she was just as powerful when she was by herself on stage. I am always grateful to the songster/poets ---- Kat’s music is sultry, gritty, unapologetic but compassionate. Her words trail through my mind, and the ones I quoted above jumped out at me... they keep on being incredibly meaningful and you can check out her lyrics/songs on her website.

I am pulling all the threads together to release my newest solo CD at the end of October. This is the 24 Solos by Jean-Daniel Braun that provoked me to start my blog in summer, 2010.

Hard on the heels of my divorce, the sale of our grand house and the struggle to find a new place to live for both myself and my mother, my little CD is oddly calm. It fascinates me to listen to it with the ears of a musician (imagining other interpretations, ornaments, tempi) and the ears of a human being (incredulous that I pulled it together at all).

I always want to launch the CDs with a special event ... the recordings represent a beginning, a real commitment to make the music part of my life. I want my students to hear them, perhaps realize something yet imagine always something more. I want people to know about this solitary, forgotten artist (Jean-Daniel Braun)who took the time to make something for the bassoonists that would last for hundreds of years. And I want an excuse to gather my friends and students; the efforts of each of us might ignite something greater than we can imagine and I feel that every time that we join forces to bring our ambitions into form.

Hold fast to the hands of grace

Have the courage to take your place

Lift it up in your very own way

Believe in love and keep the faith

Especially on the lonely days

oh,oh yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout

Kat Danser (Queen of the Swamp Blues)

Showcase Performance - another day in life of classical performers.

2011-10-03T13:53:00.003-04:00

Guy Few and I flew to Charlottetown last Thursday evening (September 29) to perform at Contact East and to connect with old and new friends. Contact East is a large showcase event that brings artists, presenters and agents together annually in the Maritimes. This year’s sessions were held in Charlotttetown and Summerside, Prince Edward Island.

This was the third industry showcase experience that we have had as a duo and it was fantastic.I got immersed in the moment, happy to submerge myself in playing, listening, meeting new people, all the while wishing that I could attend more events and write about every moment of the experience.   I loved being there with Guy who is so experienced, has many friends already in this troubadour business and is so good at making new friends and openly celebrating their music. For his part, Guy has concluded that I am a ‘conference person’ who gets inspired by the interactions and performances, much as I am inspired by actually performing.  Our experienced managers (Andrew Kwan and Erin Sparks) were unobtrusively yet completely supportive. Heaven.

In some ways, we were simply doing the things that we do every day of our performing lives... thinking ahead, planning the show from different perspectives, rehearsing and preparing the music, making reeds, making contacts, listening to other artists, talking to our mangers, reaching out to new people. And like every other performance, we also did not know exactly what to expect so all of these things become new again. Any performance requires attention to countless details and preparing an industry showcase has some unique features. First, you need an organized management who applies on your behalf... of course you can also do it yourself (!)

Long before we left for Charlotetown, we spent time choosing both the music and the commentary that would best represent us... it took a couple of run throughs to chop the presentation down to the allowable time. Short pieces, such as Flight of the Bumblebee, could be played in their entirety; longer works (St-Saens Sonata) had to be represented by a single movement and we even represented a section of a large concerto by playing a segment of the slow movement senza orchestra. It is very important to choose vibrant music that represents us and equally important to keep the audience wanting more!We took the time to run our showcase for students and ourselves and later edited the talking parts of the show, choosing from the many personal stories that we have used in our concerts over the last 6 years. It was tempting to wing the showcase because it contains material that we have used in many times before, yet we fine-tuned our mental road maps so that we could navigate from one piece to the next, deliver our broader message and still connect the music.   Since we are each strong minded and opinionated soloists, advance planning has been shown to aid considerably in creating a smooth flight!

Already a superior experience to the standard orchestra audition, the showcase presentations lasts no longer than 20 minutes and take place in a live concert setting before a large audience of presenters and agents. The conference took advantage of diverse venues in Charlottetown and Summerside, and our venue was in a the venerable Mack Theatre in Charlottetown. We had a sound check in the afternoon. The room sounded fine without amplification and the sound guys were ready to monitor things. The lighting guys found beautiful projections to go with our show. We got used to the upright piano... our fist time ever using an upright for the St-Saens sonata!

Our first day was full of highlights and one of the best was the presence of a very young bassoonist whose mother had made a four hour drive to bring him from New Brunswick to meet me. Nico came to the morning masterclasses at UPEI, listening to all of my coachings of the flutes, clarinets and saxophones, and then came to the evening show case. He and his mother were the only members of the public who were invited to attend, thanks to the kindness of the organizers of Contact East... a table directly in front of the stage so that they would have the best possible view. I felt like I had true family with me in the audience!

The actual show went better than I could have dreamed... a couple of glitches fed smoothly into our patter (e.g. my bracelet got caught in my ornate bustle just after Guy’s classic “Princess” story and the audience of supposedly jaded professionals laughed their hearts out... one big manager told us afterwards that our mini-concert demonstrated exactly the direction that he wants to see classical music going... high performance standards combined with joy in the moment along with communicativeness, extreme clothing... exuberance that is normally associated with other genres.

Every experience will always be different and each experience gives you a potential road map for the next yet you can never collapse into certainty that these will be the same. Every trip needs a new map, and just like the evolution of GPS, we are constantly honing our responsiveness when it comes to delivering the music and the stories. The important thing is to always be working then connecting with real, live people. This conference was an amazingly stimulating micro-cosm; surrounded by great artists in multiple disciplines and stages of their performing lives was so enlivening.We have no obvious preparation for this kind of work in our schooling, yet our training as classical musicians gives us all of the discipline to develop any kind of music that we want. Our depths and interests as human beings are the things that drive us to create a show for others, to bring the music and stories out into the open for people to comprehend the common ground.

Days in the Life of a Bassoon Soloist

2011-09-28T08:42:00.001-04:00

Each day is filled from the front to the back with students, reeds, musical ambition, practise, planning, rehearsing and sometimes with concerts. The concerts are the pearls that link every endeavour.

I get up early and made reeds, and sometimes manage to practise a bit before my first students arrive. I look forward to seeing them and get motivated in the course of answering their questions; even when I make demands of them, I secretly wish I could immediately practise on my own to see if I can fulfill those same demands! There is hardly time to prepare each task yet I lunge eagerly from one to the next, each moment feeling quite certain that I have forgotten something.

On Saturday, one of my lovely former students has flown from Newfoundland for some reed lessons and I showed her how I handshape (no shaper, just a sharp craft knife) and handprofile (no profiler, just a sharp reed knife, files, sandpaper and easel). The time flew by. So incredibly wonderful to be working side-by-side with a young artist who is really beginning to find her way yet still knows what she wants to learn.

Last Sunday, a “day off” was wonderful .. started with a rehearsal for the showcase with Guy Few that we will perform next week... then 12 students started arriving for our day of working on reeds. I showed all of them (ages 16 -23) how to shape and profile using only knives, files, sandpaper and easel.

I think back to my years as a student... 2 years at the University of British Columbia followed by 4 years at the Curtis Institute of Music (Philadelphia). Each day was filled from front to back with learning to make reeds, learning music. And boys.

Later, when I joined the Montreal Symphony, my days were filled with rehearsals, recordings, practising. And boys (Quebec boys). I came home to Pender Island. B.C. at the end of the summer seasons, exhausted by the year’s work, new as I was to the confining rigours of playing in a large orchestra. All I wanted to do, really, was make reeds and practise material that I wanted to get to during the year but never could. Once my youngest cousin came to visit. Four years old, he wanted to play. I could hear him outside my room where I was practising. He asked his mother... “when will she be finished?” and his mother said, “she will never be finished.”

I am still recording, rehearsing, practising & performing but with very different results. And I am still surrounded by boys, but now they are my young colleagues. Quite different. And there are lots of girl colleagues too.

This week started with a 12 hour day of teaching and each student came in brandishing a new discovery... Sheba had a list of promotional ideas and a clear recital development plan and a list of things that she had learned from her masters’ recital.... Betsy had done every exercise that I had assigned her, even the really boring ones, and has thus jumped into a category of her own... Kevin brought in an exquisitely shaped piece of cane in the Thunemann style (or as near as we can figure based on copying examples) and updates on his Spanish concerto/recital ideas... Christopher brought in a book a Vivaldi arias that he is integrating into a vocal-based recital programme (bassoon as singer)... Neil brought in a newly-made reed, all handshaped/profiled and based on a Reigher shape that he had discovered, along with ideas/questions about interior gouge/relationship to bark. I snatched the reed from him, once we had trimmed it a bit more, and discovered a dimension to the response that I have been searching for in my own reeds. After meeting my son and getting him home and preparing my teaching materials, I return to the University to lead the Double Reed Class. We did solos and ensembles and I introduced them to circular breathing... such a pleasure to see their sweet perfect faces taking on all kinds of shapes as they dived into this! And some of them figured it out, or rather, just started doing it without really knowing how they put it together. After this class, I met with a dozen bassoonists from both U of T and the Glenn Gould School to discuss the plans for our annual Vivaldi Christmas Concert.

Then I went home and cleaned up and practised for an hour... my days stretch from 6:30 a.m. until 1:00 a.m. and they still are not long enough for all that I want to do.

http://www.youtube.com/user/nadiva?feature=mhee#p/f/1/yuZY3WALCc4

Jean-Daniel Braun - liner notes update

2011-09-20T22:47:00.003-04:00

I sent out a public plea for help in finding information about Jean-Daniel Braun... I want to release this recording of his 24 Solos (1740) on Halloween, but have not been able to find any substantial information. I decided to also ask for help in writing the liner notes... I figured that the same person with the skills to discover information probably would have the skill to string the words together quicker than I would!

My undignified FaceBook bleat brought helpful bassoonists out of the woodwork and I offered the task to Dave Wells of Sacramento State University... he possesses a handy combination of degrees (musicology and bassoon performance) and an intrepid spirit. He reports that information is thin on the ground but he has a few leads and has ordered some facsimiles... with any luck, a story will emerge!

The Best Administrative Assistant Ever

2011-09-15T13:11:00.002-04:00

This summer, for the first time, I hired an administrative assistant. OK, I hired a student who is indeed helping with a lot of administration but also has the guts and courage and kindness to help with looking after my kid and my elderly parents on occasion and doesn't mind helping with changing the kitty litter if absolutely necessary. Neil Bishop is a fantastic assistant, probably because he is also a very dedicated bassoonist who understands what I am working to achieve.

This is my first season in 6 years that has ALL of my teaching located in one city! My students are all at the University of Toronto and the Glenn Gould School of Music along with private teaching. As amazingly wonderful as it is (and it is wonderful), I was overwhelmed with the layers of scheduling that this requires in addition to my travel etc. My administrative assistant is handling the scheduling of my students and saving me 5 hours of computer work per week. Priceless!

I have just finished a major recording (Vivaldi Concerti) and have a lot of work to finalize the editions, finish paying the bills and prepare the tours and release dates along with producing the liner notes etc. I have delegated my assistant to help with the corrections and publishing. So wonderful.

I am submitting grant applications for a video project to accompany the CD release and have found a producer/director who is willing to write the story board and script thus making it possible for me to even consider this new project. He mentioned that we will need an administrative assistant when we go to Venice for the shoot in spring of 2012.

I am going to release the project that I recorded last summer (24 Solos by Jean-Daniel Braun) and everything is ready EXCEPT the all-important liner notes... I have put out a very public appeal for a writer/researcher to help me with this. I don't think my assistant has time for this.

My old parents and my teenaged son all have important projects --- I can attend most of them but sometimes need someone to help me, and my first call is always to my assistant. And when my iPhone baffles me, my assistant always knows the answer.

We live in an amazing time when the youngest artists can help the older ones in such profound ways.
Thank you, Neil Bishop!

We are all in this together!!!

Read Between the Lines

2011-09-09T00:33:00.000-04:00

Read Between The Lines

One of my friends told me that writing a blog about the recording projects that I do as a bassoonist is an extreme niche market.

I thought, “Really!?”

Because, after all, the process includes getting an idea and making something happen... it also includes some amazingly diverse, talented and funny people.

And are these not universally desirable things?

Anyway, yesterday I had the real fun of playing on some tracks of new arrangements and new songs by the beloved Canadian folksinger, Valdy (Valdemar Horsdal) and his collaborator, Karel Roessingh. Guy Few came with me and added corno da caccia and trumpet along with bassoon. Today, Valdy and Karel went into a reggae studio to add some more sounds. They said that are going to drive up and down Highway 401, calling on old and new friends, dropping into different studios, all going into creating a new CD that will be released before Valdy goes home in December from his fall tour.

The first song we recorded was Read Between The Lines --- a song written in praise of literacy and probably the title track for the new CD.

The music is open-hearted and has such an attractive lilting groove. We went on to record contributions to other songs, including Ragged Band of Angels (I love the title and images in this one) and two songs that Karel and Valdy each wrote on their separate plane flights. The musicianship of these two was very impressive as they tweaked our arrangements during the recording.

Anyway, we are living in a great artistic time when technology allows for the flowering of trans-genre friendships.

Musicians Helping Musicians

2011-08-31T21:57:00.000-04:00

There is something I want to say and I don’t know how to say it succinctly. So I will ramble.

The recent Vivaldi recording went more easily for me than any other previous project. And I don’t mean the playing was easy (though there were a few blessed moments); I mean that the burden of much of the work surrounding the project was lifted from my shoulders, hands and mind.

This was because this time, I had a full, honest-to-god support team in addition to my trusted longtime engineer and musical crew of players. I also had my cherished repairmen, faithful copyist plus all the people who helped at the sessions, including tuners, instrument builders, photographers, videographer and caterer.

At the heart of the support crew were three of my students who all stepped into new roles... they went from being my attentive students to being meticulous librarians, reliable drivers and schedule enforcers, equipment movers, food deliverers, helpful production assistants who discovered wrong notes in the scores, notated all of the corrections, figured out how to print complicated files, troubleshooters who solved problems without bothering me. I And my superstar recital partner definitely took on a new role. He put down his instruments and took over all of the extra work involved in helping to move harpsichords, driving our conductor, feeding the musicians, planning the last minute party. He was extremely annoyed with me when I cut my hand washing a wine glass the night before the recordings started; he said that was his job!

And though I was the one who had done months of preparatory work in arranging the recording sessions, sending contracts and schedules, booking venues and musicians, ordering the facsimiles and all of the other technical work, it still made a world of difference to have everyone helping me at the actual event. It made it possible for me to grasp at most of my musical ideas, to have enough reeds to get through the demands and to be able to be present in the moment (whatever that really means). In all of my past projects, I have had to do much more heavy lifting, including setting up the chairs & stands for the orchestras, preparing all of the music, delivering instruments and driving conductors... it was strengthening to do it, but at the same time, I was always in a lot of pain afterwards.

These recording sessions (6 hours of rehearsals, 16 hours of recording) made me briefly tired, but then I bounced back.

So now I have experienced the true pleasure of being assisted in achieving my goals. The fact that I paid almost everyone is important, but they all deserved to be paid much more. Without their help, I could not come close to doing this.

And it makes me realize that if musicians wanted to help each other more, there are endless possibilities for people to use their different specific talents to support others in their goals. It take such a complex array of skills and insights to make projects come to life... it would be really amazing if we could think of more ways to facilitate one another’s visions. We rarely have enough money, but we have oceans of talent.

"Am I Crazy or Should I Make This Recording?"

2011-08-27T20:26:00.000-04:00

"Am I crazy or should I make this recording?"

This was the question that I posed two months ago to my oldest bassoon friend in the world. I told her that the expense was enormous and that the scheduling was very tight.

Leslie listened to it all, then calmly replied:

"Do I have to pick just one answer?"

Then, with equal calmness and certitude, she said that of course I have to make this recording because of fact that I was really passionate about making it and because she wanted to hear a new Vivaldi disc.

Today, my videographer forwarded a rough cut from the 16 hours of tape that he took (very quietly!)
during our recording sessions last week.

From my parents northern home, this video is loading super slowly, but enough has come up for Leslie (who is visiting my folks too) to hear, and her first comment is that it makes so much sense to play this music with single strings... she remarked on how swift and responsive the players are.

Now I can think ahead to the next 4 discs in this series and begin building the techniques that I wished were stronger and more flexible for this one.

Vivaldi Recording Day #2

2011-08-25T15:58:00.001-04:00

The second day of recording (August 23, 2011) at Glenn Gould Studio. We recorded #14 C Minor RV 480, #2 A Minor RV 498; #12 A minor RV499 & #6 E minor RV 484 plus the third movement of #27 E flat Major RV 483.

Only 36 hours ago but already a blur

Awakened at dawn after the first day --- killer headache caused by lack of espresso and not by eight hours of recording Vivaldi concerti. Once I figured out that the ghastly noise was my alarm and managed to bury the offending device under the duvet (easier than turning it off), I required a trip to local espresso shop to suck on two high-test cappuccinos. A bright beautiful day and a free morning but not quite enough time to make a new reed. I really prefer new reeds! Embouchure feeling a bit swollen after the previous day of recording but not bad.

I picked up David Bowles (engineer/producer) from the hotel and we arrived an hour before the start of the sessions. I listened to some of the previous day’s takes and we decided to have another go at the last movement of #23 as my first solo jumps weren’t clear --- strange how a passage can suddenly become difficult after being very easy.

This put the sessions a bit behind and we had to record the last movement of the A minor #2 RV498 after the break. My managers, Andrew Kwan and Erin Sparks, showed up for a visit and stayed until we finished the first movement of the E minor #6 RV484.

Reeds a bit challenged by the 14 hours of playing... I juggled and muttered and kept going.

Our percussionist arrived after the dinner break. It was my idea to have handbells in the first movement of A minor #12 RV 499 but after 20 bars, both our producer and conductor vetoed my idea. A tense moment but we all recovered. I still plan to take him on tour!

We kept going and finished our last concerto two minutes before the overtime button was going to be pushed at the Glenn Gould Studio.

What a team I had! We recorded all of these pieces with less than one rehearsal apiece, making decisions as fast as we could, trusting each other to invent on the fly. My support team of three super smart students (Bianca Chambul - note checker; Neil Bishop - librarian and my assistant; Megan Morris - driver and total production assistant) and my recital partner/roommate Guy Few made sure that almost all worry was lifted from my shoulders. This is the first recording session that I have finished without feeling like I have been in a street brawl. Everybody else did the heavy lifting.

My producer David Bowles is like a panther, intensely focussed, ready to pounce at a moment’s notice and quick as lightning. He snarled more than once but also purred a reassuring number of times.. I know he will make something good out of all the takes that we captured. Our conductor Nic McGegan was generating ideas by the fistful and everyone in the group had input. We took liberties with the scores but I think that Vivaldi’s improvisatory soul can withstand this kind of interpretation.

Guy whipped up a beautiful wrap party. At dawn, I grabbed Nicholas and David from the hotel, drove Nic to the Toronto airport for his flight to Cleveland for his concerts with the Cleveland Orchestra Then David and I continued on to Buffalo to ship all of his gear and fly back to San Francisco.

I celebrated by stopping at the Albright-Knox Art Gallery then driving home. I am a bit tired today, left hand a bit swollen, embouchure a bit trashed, but I will be playing again tomorrow. I feel so great even though I am not entirely sure if I nailed it all or not.

OK, this is probably all garble, but I wanted to report before the mists of time close around the memory of the sessions.

Vivaldi Recording Day #1

2011-08-23T01:11:00.002-04:00

I feel so lucky I am almost afraid to breathe. This week I am doing the thing that I love love love to do, have long wanted to do and want to keep doing. Recording 8 of the 39 Vivaldi concerti for bassoon and strings, surrounded by some of the most talented musicians I have ever met, including the support teams. Three of my students are on the support staff and are helping enormously. Megan Morris is driving artists from the hall to the hotel, wrangling the food, taking care of all the behind scenes stuff. Neil Bishop is two steps ahead of me all the way, fixing parts, collecting all of the score revisions and corrections, getting music stands, making sure that the sessions do not go overtime, cleaning up the food. Bianca Chambul, the youngest, earned her keep tonight by following from the manuscript and finding several mistakes in our printed parts. And finding a couple of errors that I had learned in my solos! I am surrounded by some of the finest ears in the world for these few days and feel so lucky. And my beloved roommate Guy Few has abandoned his own practise schedule for these last few days and is overseeing the whole operation, making sure that things are running smoothly, that we have food and a party to look forward to, putting out any small fires that break out along the way. He was also the one to help Nic turn on the organ... god, I hope someone remembered to turn it off!!

First day of recording and we have finished 4 concerti (F Major #25 RV491; C Major # 26 RV 479; E Flat Major #23 RV 483 and G Minor #495). Nicholas plays from the score and constantly checking with the manuscript, finding wonderful corrections (things I have always wondered about like the last two b’s in the solo voice in the andante of

E Minor #6 RV 484 --- these notes don’t exist and have always bugged me in the Riccordi edition, and it turns out they don’t exist!) Our engineer, David Bowles is in a state of constant alertness. He never minces words but responds very clearly and keep the sessions very focussed.

I will tell you more about the musicians tomorrow... we recorded for 8 hours today and will do the same tomorrow. The upper strings and I all play standing. There are enough breaks to make it possible to keep going.

I hope some of that made sense. My feet ache a bit so I am going to pitch headfirst into bed and make reeds in the morning before the first sessions.

A Lot of Help From My Friends

2011-08-22T09:25:00.003-04:00

Rehearsal yesterday was good! Playing Vivaldi all day with the most glorious players has to the most fun imaginable.

The support team is making this project possible for me.

The very first person to begin working very hard was Mitchell Clarke, our copyist. We got the facsimiles on DVD from Italy and he did the hard work of transcribing 7 of the concerti onto the computer (the C Major had already been done by David Bowles for the Meg Quigley competition). Mitch also took our last minute corrections and generated new scores and parts in time for the session and the work will continue afterwards to prepare our new edition for publication.

Yesterday, the people and work started coming together. Instruments were loaded into the house and tuned by their makers (chamber organ made by Thom Linken, harpsichord built by Borys Medicky) and leave today to the Glenn Gould Studio. I forgot to turn off the organ last night. I won’t forget the look on Thom’s face this morning when he came to get it. Will remember today... don’t want smoke pouring out of it during the slow movements!

Our librarian Neil Bishop stayed up all night adding final corrections in parts and arranging all parts with good page turns. Then he stayed for the 6 hours of rehearsal to notate dozens more corrections, many of them decisions that Nic is making on behalf of Vivaldi (has to be done in some cases!)

Guy Few made the most beautiful snack table in the world and kept us going all day. And helped move the harpsichord out this morning. And fetched Nic Mcgegan from the airport.

Megan Morris drove to Buffalo on Saturday to fetch our engineer and equipment, then yesterday picked up our Quebec-based cellist from the airport and she helped all day with moving equipment.

With all of this help I had time to do my video interview for WholeNote magazine in the morning, make enough reeds to get me through the session and have a cappuccino.

Today the sessions start. John Edwards (lutenist, organ mover) shouted as he left the house this morning with Thom in the organ-delivery pickup truck: “Good luck! And remember that nothing in this world is perfect” --- somehow exactly the right thing to say.

Recording is a Mirror

2011-08-20T10:53:00.000-04:00

Recording is a mirror

There are all kinds of reasons to record. Often, it is to give myself the chance to hear something that I have always wanted to hear but couldn’t. If the music was too hard, then recording it gave me a chance to edit it and hear it (really hear it, even if I still wanted to play it better and that was the last take). This process helps me produce the live shows. The last part is not something I do on purpose. It just happens.

And I am not alone in this. Still immersed in Keith Richard’s biography (Life).

He talks about laying down a dub track for “Satisfaction” while the Stones were on tour, and then, without his knowledge, their manager released it and it became a radio “Hit of the Week”. He was mortified yet intrigued by the commercial process. Despite the acclaim the band was not comfortable playing this tune until they heard cover recordings by both Otis Redding and Aretha Franklin. This recordings inspired (I guess that is the right word) the Stones to perform it themselves... here is what he said:

“A peculiarity of “Satisfaction” is that it’s a hell of a song to play on stage. For years and years we never played it, or very rarely, until maybe the past ten or fifteen years. Couldn’t get the sound right, it didn’t feel right, it just sounded weedy. It took the band a long time to figure out how to play “Satisfaction” on stage. What made us like it was when Otis Redding covered it. With that and Aretha Franklin’s version, which Jerry Wexler produced, we heard what we’d tried to write in the first place. We liked it and started playing it because the very best of soul music was singing our song.”

That is very cool.

Vivaldi update:

Thom Linken delivered his beautiful mod style chamber organ to the house for rehearsals tomorrow... everything ready... lists everywhere... parts corrected, musicians ready to travel, reed desk waiting.

Life: "I'll do anything to make a record"

2011-08-18T11:09:00.002-04:00

I am loving Keith Richard's book, "Life" (Back Bay Books, 2010)

It is a great story of real musical debut of both a band, a genre and clothing choices. Despite his recklessness, he is a focussed and musically driven person... I love the account of his early days with the band, living together and listening/working constantly (“...pounding through the night, learning their crap, trying to find a gig” There wasn’t time for sex though the air vibrates with it. Later, when they make their first recording and become enormously popular, they played over a thousand gigs in a three year period with ten days off. That is how you learn to play together!

He talks about music in straightforward commentary and there is something for everyone. On p. 126 he says "I'll do anything to make a record" and explains it in a way that makes complete sense.

He also says things like “You never stop learning an instrument, but at that time it was still very much searching about” and it seems like a revelation even though we knew that before.

He also swears really well, even in print. You’ll have to read it for yourself to catch the musical flow.

I first noticed him on a Chuck Berry film where he swore, laughed, and spoke eloquently about bass lines. And played in the direct, present-yet-ectstatic way that I love so much.

Fantastic.

Recording Update - thoughts, plans, realities

2011-08-17T18:01:00.000-04:00

Thoughts on recording:

I take on recording projects with the blind faith that the process will unlock and liberate something in my playing and understanding of the music. And while it does happen, it is not ever a final resting place... the work continues. The act of recording is always a surge of effort that translates into change.

I remember that fact when I hit the inevitable moment of freeze-up before the recording sessions, that moment of what-was-I-thinking-I’ll-never-find-the-right-reed-etc kind of petty worry that assails everyone who faces a big project (and plays a reed instrument, but really, just substitute any tool of any trade).

That moment happened yesterday so I frittered the day and began one of my late-day practise sessions. Nothing was easy, the reed I made was deeply unattractive. I kept going and refused to worry. My dear roommate endured some hardcore repetition that led to glacial improvement. Today was better. Roommate still talking to me.

If you keep going, you will be able to do something that you couldn’t before. And a door will open to new possibilities that make you realize that there is yet some other higher plane of existence that is just out of reach.

Update on Vivaldi recording project:

I will be interviewed this coming Sunday by WholeNote magazine for their “Vlog” series (video blog --- here is the link to current entries: WholeNote Vlog

Thanks to Nic McGegan (leader) and Mitch Clarke (valiant copyist) we have done a third edit of our new edition of the 8 concerti that I am recording (#2 in A Minor RV 498 ; #6 in E Minor RV 484; #12 in A Minor RV499; #14 in C Minor RV480; #23 in G Minor RV 495; #25 in F Major RV 491; #26 in C Major RV 479; #27 in E Flat Major RV483 --- my edition will be available for as part of the library for the Council of Canadian Bassoonists which will be launched sometime this year with the help of my incredible students.

And we have begun the planning for the 2012/13 tour of the new CD --- the show has the working title of Vivaldi’s Lost Girls and the programming will include the bassoon concerti plus feature the incredible solo string players in my group. We will be playing universities in different sections of the country and connecting with elementary and secondary schools on the way. Stay tuned as we focus this project.

OK, there is more stuff but I really have to go and work out the final schedules and run the concerti once more (today is two runthroughs of all concerti).

Musicians who changed my life: Bobby McFerrin

2011-08-15T00:23:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, I went to get my bassoon looked at as part of the pre-recording preparation.

Once the sessions start, we will have two back-to-back 8 hour recording days with no time for emergency bassoon repairs. Nothing was wrong with my horn, so Shane Wieler

took a couple of hours to clean it up and grease all the keys, making it much quieter.

Then we went to hear Bobby McFerrin who was performing at the Rose Theatre as part of the Brampton Global Jazz Festival.

I was so inspired and motivated after that concert that I practised the moment I got home to Toronto. But I gave up sometime just before 1 a.m.... I just couldn’t achieve anything like the multi-voiced lightness that he produces so deftly.

Today was another practise day, and as usual, I first made a reed. I took my time and didn't bother trying it until it was completely finished. I kept thinking about the kind of quick response I wanted to get, depth and warmth throughout my range without any blurs or burrs on the tone. And for whatever reason, the resultant reed was different than any other that had gone before it. #52XI8 was the best reed I have made this year. And I think it was because of hearing Bobby sing, speak and improvise last night. I left the theatre with a very palpable sense of the physical relationship to sound... he created such a light-handed yet extremely architectural shower of tones, each one resonating with what went before and came afterwards, even when things took an unplanned turn.

In the days before a big recording project, I always guard my time very jealously. Yet, because I took the time to hear Bobby McFerrin perform last night(at the suggestion of my wonderful repairman), I am sure that I am able to play better today.

Grateful.

How to Make a Recording - Make a List Part 2 (performers)

2011-08-13T10:26:00.002-04:00

Making lists are my first step to creating any reality. After that, I look for really gifted people to help launch my balloon. I mentioned my basic list in an earlier post (How to Make A Recording - Make a List) --- my first list is ALWAYS the performers.

I chose the players long before I had decided on exactly which Vivaldi Concerti I wanted to record.

In fact, I made a list of performers 10 years ago. With some slight alterations in the interim, it's now happening. If I can weave a web of ongoing connections, we will tour this idea and music in 2012/13.

All of these musicians have brought me incredible pleasure from their solo performances... there is an enormous range of age and some of them I see only once per year --- I have known some of them as students, all of them as leaders. Spirit is everything.

A quick google search reveals interesting stuff and I just grabbed what came up first... if you don’t know these people (but you probably do), they are really worth hearing.

Nic McGegan - leader & keyboards

Aisslinn Nosky - violin

Julia Wedman - violin

David Rose - viola

Raphaël Dubé - cello

Dominic Girard - bass

Lucas Harris - lute

Ed Reifel - percussion
David Bowles - engineer

I Love Real Artists!!!

2011-08-12T22:23:00.002-04:00

Today I saw a website of a violinist who is doing what I want to do! Violinist Tasmin Little seems to really be living in today's world of possibilities... I especially admire her initiative in The Naked Violin project...check her out and try some of these ideas. I know that I will.

And I bought a beautiful painting today by Aminda Wood. I thought it was called "Cold Flowers" but here it is called "Flower Fancy". Anyway, it is lovely and inspiring and Aminda happened to be buying an espresso at the same time as me so I gave her a cheque on the spot.

And another wonderful artist, Rob Farmer, has a show opening tomorrow in Toronto. Where the Wild Things Are at 10 Wolseley Ave, main floor, one block north of Queen St West at Denison Ave... I bought a post-apocalyptic dolly painting from him last fall (Diamonds and Rust). You have to see them in person to get a feel for the dark side hidden in the pink bunny exteriors.

And I have now spent 2 hours on two bars of first movement Vivaldi #14 in C minor. It's been a great summer.

Crazy Ideas?

2011-08-11T01:05:00.000-04:00

Opportunity Bank

A few years ago, I had an idea.... a vague, unformed idea... I did try to think it through a number of times and I have never codified it, nor have I forgotten the basic principle.

My idea was to create an opportunity bank.

Each time a musician helped another (website advice, name of a good coffee shop on tour, links to possible venues and presenters) and it paid off, the musician would acknowledge her benefactor with a credit of some kind. As you can see, the idea spiraled into cumbersomeness and irrelevance when I attempted to assign a value to the original gift. But the basic premise was that it is more valuable to provide another musician with an opportunity to do something that they wanted... money is not always the most important part of that equation.

Leadership

And my other idea was to have mutual or shared leadership... I think that this is different from simple equality in that the expectation is verbalization of ideas and the courage to speak up.

When I was principal bassoon of the Canadian Opera Company Orchestra, I had a fantasy of sharing my salary with the second bassoonist. Having been a second bassoonist in the first decade of my career, I knew how much hard work was involved and considered it an absolutely equal position. I also wanted to share authority within our tiny domain. It simply didn’t happen; the orchestral ecology was powerful. She insisted on calling me “chief” or “boss” and I never had the courage to offer to divide my tiny overscale payment with her.

I still feel that articulating our ideas and presenting them is more important than fitting in and being submissive. It takes continual work to develop these skills yet the value of speaking out and finding kindred spirits in the music world is essential.

Subscription to Greatness

And other idea was to set up a network of musicians interested in supporting great living composers, particularly unknown ones. The musicians would contribute a basic fee and

listen to excerpts on the data base from the different composers. The contributing musicians would vote both on each composer and specify their preferred genre. Once any composer achieved a sufficient number of votes in any given genre, the commission would automatically be generated and dedicated to the musicians who had voted for him.

In the meantime, now the world has caught up with me... these ideas exist all around us on the internet now in different guises... it is an amazing time for artists of all kinds!!

What I Want To Do With My Vivaldi Recording Project - #1

2011-08-10T00:01:00.002-04:00

It will take several blog entries to fully describe to you everything that I want to do with the Vivaldi Project.

First, let’s step back and think about Vivaldi writing incredible music for incredible orphan students. We don’t know for sure if there was an incredible baby bassoonist, but there were incredible girls on other instruments so chances are that there was a little Gaga Bassoonista in the band. There must have been... these concertos are harder than just about anything written in the hundred years following (just my bias)... that is, if we play them to the same virtuosic standards as the violin concerti.

Anyway, the best laboratory for a genius to try new ideas has to be a group of eager students, full of talent and with enough time to try seemingly impossible things! Students are never cynical unless they have been studying with the wrong people.

Can we get this culture of intense experimental virtuosity and curiousity at a young age? A comeback of high culture maybe without the orphan, women-of-fallen-virtue thing? Rather than the “will this be on the test/audition” mentality that currently diminishes our students?

Can I play this music for enough young people that dozens of them (boys and girls) will say to themselves and their parents, “I can do that!” or better yet, “I can do that BETTER!”

Because that is what I want.

And even better, some of them will be so young and pure hearted that they will just feel and know how it goes... last year at the Ottawa Chamber Festival, when Guy and I performed our kids show for the first time (Buzz and Crow), a tiny girl asked if she could play my bassoon at the end. She was five years old and her head reached my elbow. I did the fingering and she blew and she played a perfectly in-tune G Major scale followed by some excerpts from the Hummel Concerto. She knew how to play from listening to me for the half hour show and her small body vibrated with confidence and tone, not with strain. Amazing to all of us who heard it. And I had no qualms at all about letting her play my best reed... I told her what to do and she did it.

My rehearsals with strings for the Vivaldi Project start in 12 days, followed by 2 days of recording. With all of the preparations and the huge effort and the prospect of the glorious music, it feels like preparing a big party.

Once it is recorded, I want to take this music to as many universities and schools as possible, to play for as many people young and old as possible, to have it live vividly. I want people to know it well enough to have opinions on the interpretations!! I want them to notice what we are wearing and to have opinions about that too. I want to live with this music for a long time.

Thoughts about practising the Vivaldi concerti:

Last week, a very fine student asked if he could listen to me practise some day. He became alarmed at my long silence and withdrew his request, but really, I was just considering the novel idea. Mostly wondering how the circuitous logic of my mind would ever reveal itself to a listening ear... I told him that maybe someday he could make reeds somewhere in the house while I worked and that maybe some of my work would make sense to him. But really, every day is different despite the existence of an underlying discipline.

His question motivated me to offer some of my attempts to capture my process in words as of today (again, each day IS different).

Sometimes practise ideas emerge as I play --- often many wishes about much longer-term prep!

My main “if-only-I-had-done-more-of-these” wish for long-term preparation is to have developed fast(er) scales in all intervals (both chromatic and major scales... minors in the next lifetime)

New long-term tech idea - fast scales with repeated pedal (both lower and upper).

I do these things anyway, even as I wish I could do them more fluently and certainly wish that I could play all of them at the speed of the concerti.

Other points of current practise ---

-always practise standing (goes without saying in my world)

-allowing response to certain repeated gestures --- movement is relevant/interesting if it doesn’t build tension ---- I have spent a lot of time developing serenity of movement and now think it is overrated.

-walk off tension between drills (something I only remember to do if I set timer or if I get a FaceBook alert)

-practise releasing specific tension (easy, just do it between repeats of drill) drill - release - drill

-hard to explain without examples, but in the intricate passage sequences, emphasize the non-lyrical notes to gain control (often the repeated pedals on weak sixteenth beats) - so often I practise my highest intent in terms of voicing and phrasing, only to realize that if I practise with emphasized the awkward beats, then and only then will I gain the control to release them in rapid-fire voicings.

-once the difficult phrases have been shaped into understand (prior to perfection), then take them to the slowest plausible tempo and increase speed one click at a time... find the breaking point in terms of technical command... repeat the process until goal is achieved

-goes without saying, practise hardest parts without music (look if needed, but always aim to play without page)

-eventually cognition/relaxation/repetition combine in a way that captures both mental and physical control. simple (just kidding).

Musicians Who Changed My World

2011-08-08T19:19:00.000-04:00

There are some musicians who changed my world from the moment I saw them, and then followed this up with changing my world the moment I heard them.

I always tell the story about seeing Guy Few on an airplane several months before I met him... the memory is printed on my mind’s eye like the shadow on the wall in a nuclear blast. And the moment I heard him remains with me... I know I was wearing my purple sweater (before I accidentally washed it and it turned into a purple tea cozy). Following that moment, I was on the phone to my composer, asking for a double concerto for trumpet and bassoon (the rest is history).

Likewise, I passed the folksinger Valdy in a hotel corridor and we grinned at each other like two monkey morons, then talked about something, then I heard him that night as he provided the entertainment for the International Log Builders’ Association (my parents founded that organization when it was the Canadian Log Builders’ Association). Anyway, Valdy’s unforgettable musicianship caused me to get him to sing on our Caliban Does Christmas CD, and I have always wanted to play with him more. Such a true-hearted musician.

Now, he has asked me and Guy to appear on one track of his newest album AND he has agreed to do a star turn when I am touring the Vivaldi CD in 2012/13 ---- we’ll combine Vivaldi with Va-Valdy.

Other musicians whose images and sounds are seared into my memory are violinists, cellists, bass players, sopranos, conductors, brass players... people who play their hearts out no matter what, people who sometimes growl in frustration yet spread light and glory with their playing. I would list them but I am afraid of forgetting someone.

And then there are the musicians who make things possible, like the recording engineers ...always listening, always paying attention --- our recording engineer is a saint with a temper and absolutely precious.

I notice the musicians who are laughing even when they are alone... and I often find out that they are the most serious-souled people imaginable. But they make me laugh and make me want to play and take chances doing stuff I never dreamed of before I met them.

Working Holiday

2011-08-07T22:40:00.000-04:00

Now in the final two weeks of preparing for the Vivaldi Concerto project. I am taking the unusual step of concentrating fully on my own preparation... family and students are all willing to wait a couple more weeks before I turn my attention to them again. The cat, however, is a different matter. She demands food more frequently then ever!

This is a mini-sabbatical, an opportunity to train and revisit that time in my life when I could pursue sound through the music, reeds and my own physical/mental connections. I think that time may never have really existed, but it kind of existed in my early symphonic days... somehow the important thing is to combine intense private work with the opportunity to bring it to the sonic stage.

Of course I could continue with my daily life and juggle everything, because that is a skill that I have honed for years now. But instead, this is what some people would call a holiday --- time spent working on Vivaldi bassoon concerti. This is hard work that is infinitely worthwhile... a goldmine of possibility exists in this music and will reveal treasures to any player who spends time with it.

I continue to face all of my musical and mechanical decisions and push to have the concertos memorized in time for the sessions. I am more than halfway there, and will need to spend much more time with the scores, but I continue to work towards that goal.

Last month, I concentrated on getting a grasp of the whole project. Now I am visiting the short sections of each concerto that require a major, life-changing leap in technical command. I am using all of the techniques that I have ever given my students when it comes to untangling and drilling a persistent technical challenge, and above all, I am practising the hardest passages by memory. Sometimes I focus on seeing all of the notes in my imagination, planning in advance the inflections that I will want along with releasing tension from the gestures. Sometimes (and this is both strange to admit and very difficult to do) I will attempt to hold my own gaze in the mirror as I navigate a passage. In any event, Vivaldi has transcribed many incredible sonic effects from the violin to bassoon, the most notable being string crossings in the very large scalar leaps. All technical work is always followed by another interpretive run ... I always want to see if the polishing has led to any increase in expressive clarity.

I am adding basic technique again. Vivaldi’s music really benefits from doing as many intervallic scales as possible... today I played chromatic major sevenths. Any interval will help because he uses them all!!

Anyway, every day is a fresh start... a chance to put aside insecurity, doubt, to choose to do the work and make the reeds that allow me to navigate the music, every day gives me another chance to rededicate myself to the music and to flip on my high beams and enjoy every second of this experience.

why does it hurt to smile?

2011-08-05T13:29:00.001-04:00

Whenever I perform a concert with Guy Few or solo with orchestra or in the recording projects that involve orchestra or just me and Guy, my face hurts from smiling and it is always a surprise. I am not aware until after the show/session that my muscles are more tired from smiling (higher on my cheeks) than from playing.

Does this mean I am happiest when playing? Or that I am a grim bastard the rest of the time??
www.facebook.com/guyandnadina

www.facebook.com/guyandnadina

End is always a Beginning

2011-08-02T00:59:00.004-04:00

Today, as I packed the CD boxes and made the inventory lists for our recital next week, I realized that I am sold out of my first solo recording, the 12 Fantasias by Georg Philipp Telemann. One copy remains, and somebody has just requested it through FaceBook, so I will have to pluck it out of the inventory. Of course, it will always be available for download on CD Baby, but that just isn't the same.

As I rummaged through other boxes, looking for any stray copies (there have to be some!), I found my absolutely first copy of this project... it is a dub of the master that I made with a mock-up of all the art work and I remember that my ex made the disc cover. So simple! I included thank-you’s and an auto-caricature of myself and some conversational liner notes printed on nasty yellow paper and I made a laser print of the art work. I glued everything together and promptly sent it to my mother... she kept it and I found it when I moved her belongings recently. It is innocent and hopeful and crude and optimistic... it is my first step into the world of making solo recordings. And one thing is for sure... my hair is really different now!

At the same time that I realize this first project has disappeared into the world, I am working on the marketing plans for the Canadian Concerti Project and thinking of ways to get the means to pay our orchestra to record five concerti written for me and Guy in the last 3 years. One thing leads to another in the music world... 10 solo discs later, I can say that the new projects lie on the same path that was started with the lovely, solitary solos of Telemann, written and self-published at a time in his career when he was interested in being more independent. The invention of the young Canadian composers is linked with Telemann by the voice of the bassoon... or maybe it is more accurate to say that I discovered all of these artists for myself through the prism of the bassoon. Or maybe I should just stop talking now.

Stand Up and Be Heard? Sit Down and Be Quiet?

2011-07-31T10:23:00.001-04:00

Restlessness, movement, joy, floods of ideas, speaking up, listening, contributing, collaborating,helping...

I think that there are a few markers to knowing if you want to be an artist (leader).

Movement is one of them... can you lean into your work or do you have to suck it up

and lie low?

Another marker of an artist/leader is the inclination to see beyond the job and imagine what is possible. If you act on this, you will inevitably get your knuckles rapped, yet you will probably also accomplish something in your life.

I am not comfortable with any work that requires me to sit for long periods (the only reason, really, that standard orchestral work is torture) or keep my ideas to myself, though I not sure what work that would be since I have never kept my ideas to myself. Paradox abounds in that the effort to communicate inevitably leads to misunderstandings, but I keep trying. It works eventually.

There is a vast difference between being tolerated (ideas expressed, room falls silent) or engaged (ideas expressed, explosion/trickle of ideas follows). It is largely a matter of finding a convivial situation though it absolutely does not mean a life of constant concordance and agreement. Life, love and work do need to have a link if we are ever to make our best contributions. And we have to make our best contribution.

I have a lot more to say on the subject, but my reeds suck at the moment and I really have to get to work.

Baroque Ornamentation and Swearing

2011-07-30T12:40:00.000-04:00

Having played a great number of baroque concerts and a reasonable number of recordings, I still do not consider myself an expert. But having performed in the company of experts, I have learned to discern between authentic (attractive) ornamentation and laboured (unattractive) ornamentation both in my own playing and

in that of others.

And I hereby conclude that the ability to ornament successfully has many parallels between the world of colourful language aka swearing.

A successful swear has elements of invention and precise timing, surprise yet recognition of the rightness of the moment. Violence is subsumed into art, grit is delivered with refinement, exuberance bursts forth in a flourish of the unexpected.

And just like a well-placed swear, good ornamentation required both practise, prior failure and ongoing bravery. You have to have a pure heart and make repeated efforts before instinct is aligned with skill.

If you merely follow all the rules and mechanically churn out trills and facile tierces coules (sorry, can’t spell that to save my life), it is like a teenaged boy monotonically swearing on his cell phone at the back of the street car (unattractive). If you flip the rules to fit your ear and learn to invent on the run, trusting the instincts of your physical self, you will start to have a style and aptness that can bring calm or inspiration. And sometimes a “mistake” turns into something so ornate and unbidden that you may startle yourself.

This is the nature of ornament, no?

Work of Art (practise)

2011-07-27T11:55:00.000-04:00

Practising means doing. So, this can include recording, performing, private practising.

Some classical musicians have so many performances that this becomes their sole practise: 12 performances of a concerto or sonata offer a remarkable way to develop ideas. Yet, many bassoonists have more opportunities for solitary refinement.

How we “do” our practise will affect the outcome which makes it worthwhile to pay close attention to how we feel when playing hard passages. The goal is to eliminate unnecessary tension in the body and to maintain open channels to our highest vision.

And the artistic goal is to evolve an interpretation!

At first, classical musicians always worry about ‘being right’. And it is important to worry about that because there is much beauty in the discipline, history and rigor of our craft. But essential to weave our own voice into the music that we are covering. Absolutely essential, otherwise everything is simple a factory test of current (often faulty) specs and not a one-of-a-kind work of art.

There are endless details and exercises, patterns, drills and skills to develop when practising.

And we often develop repertoire that will not have multiple performances.

It boils down to two principal approaches once I am in the physical development mode.

Runthroughs
Details

Runthroughs give the scope of the whole piece and the whole programme. I do them at the beginning of the learning process to get a feeling for how much stamina I need to get through the programme and to form the event in my mind, to review the narrative flow. I will play all eight concertos in a sitting to develop the foundation of stamina and technique that I want though this will never happen in any recording session or concert.When I am recording material that is different from my recital rep, then I also work to play all the concerti and all of the recital rep at stages leading up to the events.

At a practical level, the runthroughs also include phrases, movements, complete works, complete recitals (two full runthroughs in the days leading up to shows), recording projects.

Once I have a grasp of the scope of the event, then it is time to work in detail to actually build the platforms that will allow me to leap to another level.

It all takes time yet can coalesce in an instant. Just like a giant snowball that has taken hours to build, with sticks and leaves and small animals sticking out of it, suddenly it has both heft and momentum, and begins to roll on its own.

Technique, once activated in a developmental way, will continue to grow and thread out into your self even when you are not directly working on it. And most astonishing, when you are in truly top physical shape, the development can be enhanced by a day of rest from the specific challenges, or even from not playing at all. Only when you are in top shape do you continue to develop but it is unstoppable once the cycle has been initiated.

OK, really gotta go and practise now.

True or False?

2011-07-25T18:34:00.000-04:00

I am a traditionally trained, classical bassoonist with an orchestral background. I am head-over-heels crazy about performing solo art music.

I love clothes. I love glamorous gender-ambiguous dressing. I would play a concert in my underwear if I had the courage (I don't) or fabulous-enough lingerie (I plan to get some). I love designers though I only know the names of my local, one-off designers since I don’t seem to perceive mass-market appeal in clothes. Am I aloof from the whims of fashion or a slavish slave?

I love wood. I love working on reeds. I think that I can build my sound from the reed up and live with a bit of excitement based on the fact that it is challenging to align my performance values with my reed-making skills. I shape my cane by eye using a sharp knife, files, sandpaper and easel... no templates, no machines, lots of sawdust. Maybe I waste too much time in this pursuit.

I love baroque music and historical instruments. But I am a modern player and feel no shame in making this music work in a way that suits my instrument and time, thus appealing to neither market (early music or modern instrumental practise)... maybe I am wasting my money on my many recording projects.

I love teaching yet am constantly baffled by the institutional process, always feeling at odds with the demands of the schools and the core needs of the student musicians (loads of repertoire directed towards tests, juries, auditions and not towards pure concerts, not enough time to learn the craft of reed-making or tone production), yet I stick with it and even support the structure as the best option we have for the time being. Maybe I am cancelling out my own best contribution.

I love performing for audiences large and small, meeting countless new people, but the only way to get there is to have hundreds of hours to myself. I love performing live but it is almost a physical need to make recordings, an isolated craft with different existential parameters.

Are contradictions fundamental to my craft or merely to me?

Not Tonight; I Have a Headache/New Puppy/Date/Life

2011-07-23T13:30:00.001-04:00

Not Tonight; I Have a Headache/New Puppy/Date/Life

I always nag my students about time lines and planning. This is partly because I am both terrible at conceptualizing time and I am highly productive despite this fact. I am lucid enough to know that I could be much more productive if I internalized an understanding of how much time is required for everything.

I love the studiously blank look that comes over their beautiful smooth brows and luminous eyes as they wait for me to stop talking. They nod and assure me that it is all under control. I try a different tack and remind them how chaotic my life is, that I might not be available for emergency reed sessions the night before their concerto auditions. I remind them that they need to find their passports if they want to do international competitions. I remind them that they have school exams the same day as they are performing Rite of Spring with their student orchestras. They nod calmly. I sigh.

We all understand the concept that we have to fulfill our duties (work, studies etc) even when we don’t feel like it. We know we can’t always get what we want exactly when we want it.

But do we understand that sometimes we have the opportunity to do exactly what we want (make a great reed, make a recording, play a concert of the repertoire we love for an audience that loves us) and life might (will) throw curves that make if feel impossible to do any of these things?

Flights are late, instruments are damaged, babies are born, family members get ill, accidents happen, houses get sold and you have to move, income tax looms, cats barf on your music....

This spring, a bright and passionate young grad student wrote to me and asked if she could take some lessons that focused on the technique and planning required to be a soloist. She was organized enough to get funding for this project. But then she had to move and got married then got a new puppy and life was too busy. I have not heard a peep from her about the noble project that we had agreed to undertake.

Just this month, one of my best students asked for summer reed lessons and I suggested dates then heard nothing from him for three weeks. Suddenly he was in a panic and had to have a reed lesson or he would never be able to practise properly again. I reminded him of the three week silence, and he said that his grandparents had been visiting. I said that was lovely, but now I am in the middle of recitals and recording prep and cannot see him until the fall. I sent him to one of my senior students who is also in the midst of a complex life. I was kind but absolutely unavailable.

Life happens in churning layers. In this last year, I have premiered concerti while moving house, performed concerts while looking after sick parents, passed my own kid in an international airport, moved twice, made two recordings, released two other recordings, picked up a dead possum and NONE of this is more than what any other professional musician does. We all have astonishing stories. My best friend in the world had to play a concerto with the Vancouver Symphony three months after brain surgery but a book could (should) be written about him.

We have to do many things at once. We cannot wait until everything is perfect. Because, as musicians, I believe we have one of the best lives possible and we have to keep sight of this and move towards it despite the intervening forest of tigers that intermittently pops up.

Nuts, I think I forgot to book hotels for my out-of-town musicians on the Vivaldi project... gotta go now.

Recording Devices - try this at home

2011-07-22T01:20:00.000-04:00

When I was a student, I had small hand held cassette players with unstable pitch fidelity for recording ourselves. After awhile, I got used the the variables and could still discern relevant information while praying that I didn't actually sound like that!

Then I got a Yamaha dual deck variable pitch cassette player for recording myself. It was good because I could run it with my toes... the controls were big tabs like plastic piano keys. The variable pitch would allow for slowing down the playback. It also allowed me to play along with recordings of higher pitched European orchestras.

Then I had a Nagra reel to reel which would play back at half and quarter speed --- best thing ever. I could play my fastest excerpts then slow the playback to quarter speed to analyze the gaps in my technique.
(I sold this fantastic machine to pay for my first baroque bassoon. I sold that bassoon to pay for a recording project.)

Now I just got myself a Zoom video recorder; I have never ever used a video device for practising!

Whatever you use, it will help. Better than a teacher, it multiplies the practise benefits enormously. Record yourself. Then make a recording.

To Quit or Not To Quit

2011-07-20T22:26:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I want to quit. Sometimes other people want me to quit.

Then I always realize that I should quit.

But I have to choose carefully what I will quit. Very carefully. And I have to think of it well in advance.

Sometimes it is a matter of escaping from a dead end, like quitting a university job that requires hours (days) of commuting for very little money or static orchestral positions. Sometimes it is a matter of giving up something really wonderful, like teaching passionate talented students at a university for very little money or playing in a beautiful orchestra that never featured me as a soloist.

Other times it is deciding not to be spread so thin that everything falls short of my goals.

Not do I face the obstacles that life puts in the path of every other musician, I have my own particular handicap when it comes to conceptualizing time. Part of me feels that I can learn 8 concerti, write a book, teach 21 students, have fun on Face Book, pay bills, look after the damned cats, attend birthday parties, concerts ---- all in the 10 minutes before I have to pick up my kid from school.

Those who succeed are the ones who have quit the right things at the right time.

Perseverance is only useful if it is in the quest of the right goal.

The only leaps in my playing have come when I have been obsessively, eagerly focussed on a particular composer and these obsessions always lead to a recording. Of course other playing can happen around this point of obsession! Yet, from the beginning of my career, I have developed crushes on different composers... Telemann, Bach, Corrette, Scarlatti, Lussier, Hummel, Jolivet, Prokofiev and most continuously, by Vivaldi.

The obsession (preparation, performance & recording) changes my playing forever.

I always try to improve and I will always feel guilty about making this effort. Because it is not a practical thing. Husbands get angry, old parents get lonely, kids need dinner, students need teaching. But to play my best, I have to fail in the commonly-held goal of being a well-rounded human being. I am a distinctly lop-sided blue-haired human being who is definitely alternating between the knife-edge of now and a rigorously active waiting game that takes place between recordings and performances.

It is a tiny bit like weight training... in the end, the work that is done at the very end of the very long sessions is the very thing that propels my playing to the next level, but it won’t be apparent until a day of rest and I start anew.

Tonight’s practise was an aerobic session alternating my next recital programme with the recording roster. Always have to go beyond physical comfort zone to get to the next level of control.

Flight of the Bumble Bee

Vivaldi F Major RV 491

Boismortier - e minor suite for trumpet & bn (from Op 37)

Vivaldi C Major RV 479

Boismortier E minor Sonata Op. 50 #1

Vivaldi G Minor RV 495

Bach/Pagannini x 4(bn/horn duos)

break

Vivalid C minor RV 480

Schreck Sonata

Here are some words from Seth Godin's excellent little book, "the dip" ---- (Portfolio - the Penguin Group 2007)

All our successes are the same. All our failures too.

We succeed when we do something remarkable.

We fail when we give up too soon.

We succeed when we are the best in the world at what we

do.

We fail when we get distracted by tasks we don't have the

guts to quit.

Happy Lucky Idiot

2011-07-18T22:46:00.000-04:00

A day off... the words of poet Nanao Sakaki describe it better than I ever could ---

If you have time to chatter
Read books
If you have time to read
Walk into mountain, desert and ocean
If you have time to walk
sing songs and dance
If you have time to dance
Sit quietly, you Happy Lucky Idiot

(from Break the Mirror - North Point Press, 1987)

ps - Fat Gurl is my alter ego --- she usually has a ribbon on her bald head, but in this candid moment she has a mohawk, poor dear

Bassoon Boot Camp or If I Die Before I wake

2011-07-17T18:45:00.000-04:00

If I die before I wake.

That alone would prevent me from playing (aka practising, performing, recording).

Otherwise, I plan to play a lot. Every day. Almost every day. Because I get better, freer when I do it. Then, when I am in shape, I actually improve from taking a day off. But I can never schedule a day off in advance. It just has to sneak up on me. Some people can get better through just thinking about it but I have to do it. No cerebral meditative, hands-off transcendent immaculately conceptual playing for me.

Bassoon boot camp all the way. Sweat and tears. Well, sweat. Solitary refinement.

Even when it gets away from me and bites me in the butt, I am still pursuing my idea of work. Not waiting to live, not frustrated with restrictions, not sad about not having a chance to do what I want. I have pushed very hard for this state of mind.

If fate opts to snuff my candle, please someone else take over this Vivaldi project. You’ll have to pay for it, but it is worth it! The facsimile scores are ready, the computer scores/parts are getting corrected and sent this week, the engineer, keyboards, musicians, hall, drivers, plane tickets are all booked--- should be straightforward! This is my recording order, just for the record (4 sessions). And we are using a painting that belongs to Nic McGegan for the cover... there, that should be enough information to get you started. Oh, and I have almost committed to all of my tempi...

#25 in F Major RV 491

#26 in C Major RV 479

#27 in E Flat Major RV483

#23 in G Minor RV 495

#14 in C Minor RV480

#12 in A Minor RV499

#2 in A Minor RV 498

#6 in E Minor RV 484

xoxonmj

Nasty Negative Infuriating Yet Inspirational Moments

2011-07-16T19:27:00.001-04:00

I believe in being idealistic and optimistic and pursuing musical ambition that is devoid of cynicism and steers clear of any delusions about “reality” ---- after all, what kind of reality is it that imagines a standard orchestral audition to be a true indication of a musician’s ability?

I believe in the enormous kindness of the many musicians who have helped me and these are the people I want to emulate.Yet, I have always been propelled and motivated and shot to the next level of development by the ponderous, culture-induced pragmatism of some of the influential teachers, authority figures and fellow musicians in my past. Without these discouraging incidents, I may never have continued as single-mindedly.

My wonderful Dad did not like it when I first begged for bassoon lessons. We lived far from town, off the grid, and getting a bassoon lesson meant flying 500 miles to Vancouver. In those days, there was one flight per day, so it was a long trip and I had no place to stay Vancouver. I did it anyway, taking lessons with a bitter old man who charged me a lot and was not encouraging. My Dad argued that my obsession with music was an escape from “reality” yet when I persisted, he became my greatest supporter.

My first wonderful bassoon teacher (so inspiring, so motivating) stated categorically that I would not have a career in music because I was too “sensitive.” At the moment, I appear to have had a long career in music but would I have had it without being infuriated by this inspiring yet pompous man? Or did he actually do this on purpose, knowing that such a statement would provoke me to succeed? We’ll never know for sure.

When I landed my first orchestral job, the superb principal bassoonist baffled me by saying that the second bassoonist should never offer musical opinions. To this day I refuse to acknowledge what he was talking about (though I did learn to fly under the radar, however briefly).. I will always see music as a collaborative event and not a factory production with foremen and underlings. Yet this annoying and gifted man also gave me my first solo opportunities with orchestra, letting me play the Mozart Concerto when he was acting as guest conductor. I will always be grateful to him even as I hate him a bit for cutting off my (excellent) ideas.

In the same orchestra, the associate principal bassoonist stated categorically that second bassoonists should never appear as soloists and he would not speak to me for over a year after my first solo appearances with our orchestra. This was the same man who introduced me to the concept of historical instrument practise and loaned me recordings of historical bassoon soloists.

Inspiration can be painful and it can come in forms that do not have anything to do with the feel-good transcendency that I prefer.

Blue Feathers and Jazz

2011-07-15T17:29:00.000-04:00

We have commissioned the hot jazz bassist Michael Occhipinti to write a new concerto for us --- Nadina (amplified bassoon and blue feathers), Guy (trumpet, piano, corno) and full orchestra. This will go on the Canadian Concerti disc that we are recording in December. The dress will be ready sooner than the music, but that is as it should be...